Snow.

I have no recollections of being a child and playing in the snow, I suppose I must have done it but as I was adopted and my parents were always a tad over protective there is a possibility that I may not have done.

I do remember walking to the bus stop to catch the bus to school and wearing short trousers as you did in those days and upon arriving at school having to stand about in the freezing cold until assembly when we were allowed into the school; all very character building I’m sure.

When I became a teenager I had a toboggan which my father who had very limited woodworking skills had paid someone to make for me which weighed a ton and was most unwieldy which I used to drag to the forest and shoot down the slopes emulating the members of the St Moritz Bobsleigh Club.

Later at school making a slide by tramping the snow down the hill until it became sheet ice whereupon all the boys would run as fast as they could from the top and slide to the bottom shooting off the jump at the end at tremendous speed, strangely I recollect there never having been any serious injury ever and all of this achieved without the aid of any form of Health and Safety input at all.

As time went by we put aside these childish pastimes and took up more adult pursuits like car rallying where once again snow would take it’s place in the scheme of things for when the snow arrived I would dash off to the nearest deserted car park to practice my car control perfecting the handbrake turn and the reverse flip to return home on opposite lock round every corner, ah happy days!

Now time has passed and my opinion on the joys of the arrival of snow have changed considerably, I find myself wanting to stay indoors and watch it from the safety of a warm room cosseted by a nice wood burning stove although the perils of getting the wood from the wood shed are ever present.

Only yesterday I went to get some wood and found myself teetering about on the snow when I realised I was waddling in the fashion of an old codger and thought to make a mental note to self to avoid falling and breaking my hip as all old folk seem to do this time of year if at all possible.

I dropped my wife down the road this morning to get her hair done and have to go back and pick her up later, unfortunately the snow seems to be coming back with a vengeance so I’m not looking forward to the return journey both from the point of view of being out in the cold and also as I’m fairly certain that the vast majority of the other road users out today will not have spent their youth perfecting their driving skills in snow covered car parks which leaves their abilities in this type of weather sadly lacking especially as it is becoming quite rare to have snow at all in the south of England.

I was unsure how to finish this post should I wait and collect my wife assuming it’s humanly possible and regale you with tales of heroism fighting our way home through vast snow drifts or should I leave it as a cliffhanger with you, dear reader wondering if you would ever hear from me again?

I plumped for the latter.

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About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
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