Identical

At first I thought I’d written on the subject, identical but then realised it was in fact similar which I had written previously about and although they are words that are almost the same, they are not identical.

I have two grandchildren who are twins and to all extents and purposes are identical, except they came from two separate eggs which means they are not identical, apparently. Unfortunately, they are so similar, I cannot tell one from the other, although my wife has absolutely no trouble identifying which one is which, this may say more about my lack of deeper involvement with them, than be a comment on my eyesight.

As often happens with brothers and I imagine with all offspring there is a “good” one and a “not so good” one and in the case of my grandchildren this is also the case. There are many modern fashions and habits that I am not greatly in favour of and both of the twins know this,

I very much favour when meeting a chap to extend my hand in the old fashioned manner with a view to clasping the other fellow firmly by his hand and shaking vigorously and not the more modern fashion for engaging in an arm wrestle followed by a man hug, or even worse just slapping each other in the manner known as a high five.

Due to my inability to identify which of the twins are greeting me, I usually extend my hand hoping for the “good” twin who is fairly well educated in the art of manners and gentlemanly conduct and will grap my hand in the proper manner and utter a cheery greeting such as, “what ho, old boy,” and all is well with the world. Unfortunately should it be the other twin, who seems to find pleasure in impersonating his brother, I am at first met with his outstretched hand in the manner of a gentleman but at the last minute he changes tack and slaps me on the hand, which seems to amuse him more than somewhat.

I know they are not identical, but I’m dammed if I can spot the differences, it used to be easy when they were younger and only one of them wore glasses and I’m still not entirely certain that the other fellow actually needs spectacles, I think it’s all part of his cunning ruse.

They won’t be able to hoodwink me in this fashion for ever, as eventually they will develop a little more and start to want to have more of an identity of their own, then all I will have to do is remember which one it is that has the full beard and which has his arm tattooed. Obviously the chap with the tattoo could make my life considerably easier if he were to have his name tattooed on his arm in bright coloured ink, not attractive I know, but from my point of view damnably useful.