Invisible

I’m not a great cinema goer, so have not seen the modern version of the Invisible Man but I assume it’s still pretty much the same as the old black and white version I saw many years ago on the television. My recollection of the film is sketchy, to say the least, but I seem to remember a chap had become invisible and went about swathed facially in bandages and wearing sun glasses.

I can’t remember if he was some sort of detective, or just a peeping tom, I suspect the former, however when the occasion demanded some sleuthing he would take off all his clothes and bandages to become invisible, although if I’m not mistaken he would leave his hat and sunglasses on for the benefit of the viewer so we could see his whereabouts in each location. This description of the film may be complete rubbish but I think this is something of the gist of the thing.

How useful to be invisible, although obviously when walking about stark naked, especially in the depths of winter, it does have it’s down side. Not that I would remotely encourage it, but the obvious use of invisibility would be for criminal activity and much as the theft of an item my be fairly easy, secretion of said item when making ones escape may lead to uncomfortable consequences which although utilised as a method of smuggling drugs and mobile phones into prison, I would not recommend.

Perhaps better to use invisibility for good, like creeping up on villains or unscrupulous politicians and recording their confessions of wrong doing, although one encounters the same problem here as before, where does one hide the microphone being an obvious question.

It seems, being invisible as a person has it’s flaws, so I shall move on to the subject of invisible aircraft. We have stealth aircraft, such that they are invisible to radar, so how on earth shall we shoot them down in times of war. Unlike World War Two where we used to fire multiple rounds of anti aircraft shells willy-nilly into the skies in the vain hope that some of them may hit the target, we need to think outside the box and devise a method of identifying the whereabouts of the aircraft and then shoot it down.

I suggest drawing an analogy from the invisible man and devising a gun that can shoot multiple bandages into the sky which would wrap around the aircraft thereby making it an easy target for the gunners. This may sound far fetched, but no more so than many a modern sci-fi film I may have had the misfortune to watch and don’t forget space rockets were seen in comics long before they were actually seen in space.

Well, that’s more than enough nonsense on the subject of invisibility and I shall now slip quietly into the night, much along the lines of the Scarlet Pimpernel, although unlike the Invisible Man I shall be disappearing fully clothed.