I was reminded on seeing the word quartet of the most wonderful film and high point of British entertainment, “Carry on up the Khyber”, especially the scene where they are being attacked and complete chaos is reigning about, cannon shells crashing through the walls and ceiling and through it all the string quartet continue to play, much like the band on the Titanic.

Conveniently enough I wasn’t born until after World War two was over which meant my services were never called upon in defence of the realm but like a considerable number of British people, I think, we feel as if we contributed by letting our fathers go and die on our behalf.

I used to think should I have been there at the time I would have instantly offered my services to the R.A.F. and become a dashing Spitfire pilot but on reflection I decided that as their life expectancy was approximately three weeks I would look for something slightly less dangerous, Bletchley Park, perhaps.

Safely tucked away out of town at Station X, all very hush, hush, using my considerable brain power to crack the Nazi codes and when asked where I was going, the reply, “to join Captain Ridley’s shooting party.” Then at the weekend or on days off I would venture into town for a quiet afternoon tea at the Palm Court Hotel, relaxing to the gentle sound of a string quartet, much more my cup of tea than dying needlessly in some foreign field.

“Keep calm and carry on,” the world may be about to end with the Cuban missile crisis, or more recently being poisoned by Russian agents, or the outbreak of nuclear war with North Korea. Fear not, put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea, place a gramophone record on the turntable and relax to a string quartet and the soothing sounds of a Mozart concerto and all will be well.

A quartet may not have a musical connection for a quartet can be just a group of four, rather like the Cambridge graduates who took to spying for the KGB from World War Two right up the early 1950’s. Philby, Burgess, Maclean and Blunt, cads and bounders to a man.

I shouldn’t have written the last sentence as I’m getting all worked up now and it’s too late to get to the Palm Court, I’ll just have to forgo the musical quartet and make my own tea, I hope I can find a scone and some jam and cream in the larder.


About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work due to losing my agent when I became a full time carer to my mother who had dementia. and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother and shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse. I have written a number of different books all available on Amazon, so don't be shy should you feel the urge to purchase. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mr-Joe-Wells/e/B06XKWFQHT/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1
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