Churn

Yesterday my stomach was churning as I was waiting for the salesman to give me the final figure for my purchase of a new computer, made necessary by my old one playing up and refusing to work properly no matter how much I shouted at it.

I am a simple man, with simple pleasures, mostly enjoying my classic cars, which although old are also simple and therefore rarely go wrong, contrary to popular misconception, I suspect. Generally speaking, if you have a decent battery for the spark plugs and a tank of fuel, should you combine the two in the combustion chamber you’re pretty much in business where the internal combustion engine is concerned. Unlike the purchase of a new computer.

We were lucky when entering the shop to be accosted by nerdiest salesman I’ve met in a long time, which is always useful where the purchase of any item where you are completely devoid of information concerning the product, for a nerd will be able to bore you to gut wrenching boredom explaining the precise ins and outs of every aspect of the machines performance, including reams of information of which you have no understanding of whatsoever.

It is at this point that it is necessary to apply the, “I’m a complete moron where these things are concerned approach,” to enquire of everything, “but why on earth do I need to purchase all this gubbins, as well as the computer?” With any luck during this process the salesman will take pity on you, especially if he is astute enough to notice your reluctance to spend vast sums of money on needless add on thingamebobs and start knocking off the things you don’t need.

Having finally negotiated to a price just short of the turnover of a small third world country one leaves the shop, in the hope that they will uploaded all the vital things you purchased, I look forward to collection on Saturday and being back to normal without too many gut churning moments. In the mean time I have borrowed my wife’s computer where I find some clever dick has turned off the spellchecker, now I don’t want to fiddle about too much trying to put it back on as it’s a similar problem to this where I messed up my computer. I think the purchase of one is more than enough in a week although I’m tempted to try to fix the problem, I have tons of ideas churning about in my head, and surely one of them must do the job.