Today’s choice for word prompt is “forest” and I was immediately put in mind of Robin Hood and his Merry Men who lived in the woods to evade capture by the Sherriff of Nottingham, although I’m rather wondering what on earth his men got up to that would make them merry. Personally, the thought of living in the woods would make me quite unhappy, what with all the creepy crawlies, the lack of shelter and all that goes with it.

Now, we all know that bears defecate in the woods, which is all well and good for them, but us humans, or at least most of us have been brought up differently, so I have no desire to leave traces of my excreta in the woods with a view to scaring off the other animals. I wouldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone try to shit on one, if you’ll pardon my French, as they say.

There is a website called Sawday’s which has interesting and different places to go for a holiday or a weekend away, some of which are fabulous and some are what I believe is called “glamping,” which is supposed to be “posh camping,” although it doesn’t appeal to me. One can stay in a “yurt,” which is basically one step up from an old World War Two bell tent in the middle of a farmers field.

I believe the idea is to get in touch with nature, to embrace the wind, the rain, the farmyard smells, obviously wellington boots are to be recommended for this sort of escapade. However, people leave glowing reports of their experiences, something like, “oh, Gerald and I had a wonderful time, we stayed in a yurt, we felt at one with nature, our hosts, Rosemary and John had thought of our every need.” “We so enjoyed the rustling of the wind in the woods and the outdoor shower with the bamboo curtain, together with the environmentally friendly composting toilet.”

Well each unto their own, but sleeping in a draughty old tent, having a freezing cold shower and defecating into a pile of wood chips, in the middle of a forest is not my idea of fun.

Time as usual has defeated me as I have to get ready, as we are going to a Forties event tomorrow which is taking place at Brooklands in Surrey, which was the first purpose-built motor racing track in the world, built in 1907. It has a banked track which you can hardly walk up and although not surrounded by forest, there were a considerable number of trees surrounding the track. Hard to imagine that men and women would risk their lives thundering round this track at horrendous speeds, for should they make an error or something broke on the car, they would shoot over the top of the banking and crash into the surrounding trees to their untimely death.

Those were the days, when men were men and indeed women were too!


About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work due to losing my agent when I became a full time carer to my mother who had dementia. and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother and shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse. I have written a number of different books all available on Amazon, so don't be shy should you feel the urge to purchase.
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2 Responses to Forest.

  1. The Haunted Wordsmith says:

    I like watching old news reels of early racing…that took guts. I think I’d rather stay in the woods and worry about bears. Great story.

  2. Pingback: Far beyond the Forest and the Waves! – Nicolas Heartmann

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