I’m thinking of joining the Magic Circle as I have finally become a full fledged magician, although not my favourite trick by any means, I have by years and years of practice perfected the disappearing money trick. For those of you not familiar with the trick, let me explain. I receive money into my bank account and virtually the same second it coincides with a bill which requires payment and disappears in an instant.

My membership to the magic circle may not be as easy as I would like as this is the only trick I have perfected, the one where I can do this trick in reverse and produce huge quantities of money from a top hat is still some considerable way away from my grasp.

On the same subject there have been quite a few celebrity disappearances where for some reason or another the need to disappear has occurred. My thoughts, straightaway turned to Lord Lucan who murdered the family nanny in mistake for his wife and fled the country to who knows where? There were many suggestions, he was alive and well and in hiding in South Africa assisted by his well off chums, or that it all ended tragically the night he fled when he threw himself off the ferry to France. I suspect we shall never know.

The story of Robert Maxwell, the owner of the Daily Mirror newspaper who was embezzling the company pension fund and once again took to the seas in his boat and flung himself into the raging seas below, I suppose as his body was found it could only be termed a brief disappearance.

Another famous disappearance was that of Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs, who was part of the gang that robbed the mail train and escaped with 2.6 million pounds which was an absolute fortune in those days. The gang including Biggs, who actually only played a small part in the raid were soon captured and imprisoned. Biggs escaped and fled to France and then Australia and finally to Brazil having spent a vast proportion of his haul from the robbery to aid his disappearance. He was in Brazil from 1970 but was free from arrest as he had fathered a child whilst there and chose to come home in 2001 with 28 years of his sentence still to serve. Upon his return to the UK he was imprisoned and was finally released in 2009 with failing health and entered a nursing home and died in 2013.

Finally, the story of John Stonehouse who was at on time Postmaster General under a Labour Government, who fell upon hard times with his companies and was forced into creative accounting, which I think is otherwise known as fraud. He faked his own death by leaving his clothes on a Miami where it was assumed he had drowned or been eaten by a shark, when in fact he had disappeared to Australia to start a new life with his mistress and secretary Sheila Buckley.
He was finally caught as it was thought that he was in fact the disappeared Lord Lucan and the police were called to arrest him. Having served three years of a seven year sentence he was released on good behaviour and as he had suffered three heart attacks.

I seem to have digressed slightly from my original topic, that of magic and the lack of sufficient funds for my lavish lifestyle, however having seen the previous four examples I am fairly certain I shall not be turning to a life of crime to make up the shortfall.

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
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