Bah humbug!

I was feeling the urge to write as I don’t seem to have written much of late except the occasional plug for my latest children’s book but at this time of year, I find myself obsessed with Christmas. Actually, to be more precise I would say my wife is obsessed with Christmas and I am doing my best to assist her in the process.

I have mentioned before that I have objections to Christmas, not you understand the actual holiday itself but the enormous waste of money spent on food, drink and worst of all vastly expensive presents for all and sundry.

My ideal Christmas celebration would consist of one of my wife’s rather splendid chicken dinners with all the trimmings, some wine, some spirits and a few beers or lagers and no presents whatsoever.

We obviously have quite a few people over for Christmas which may explain why I am having trouble getting by the mountainous pile of presents which have accumulated round the Christmas tree.

This post has been interrupted at least two times as we have had to visit the supermarket on numerous occasions to stock up with vast amounts of food sufficient to survive a nuclear holocaust.

We have as I write just returned from such a trip and I noticed as I went around quite a number of strong men standing by their trolleys with sunken eyes, staring into the middle distance, for I too know that look. They had lost the will to live and some like me were close to tears.

When we finally unloaded everything and I had finished painting the banister rail for the hall, stairs and landing which we had to redecorate, although quite why it was so important it had to be done at Christmas, I have no idea but the priorities of a woman are far different from those of a man. Personally, I would have thought that finishing the head gasket on my Morris Minor which I started some months ago was far more important, but who’s to say.

All I have to do tomorrow is put up the Irish flag bunting and the orange, white and green balloons and the rest of the paraphernalia which will enable us to have our Irish themed Christmas and I can settle down on Christmas day and enjoy a few Guinness whilst listening to The Dubliners and The Wolfe Tones and others for a few jigs and reels.

Well that’s my post for today, all that is left for me to do is to apologise to everyone who is still waiting for their Christmas cards to arrive, as we have been very busy this year and to wish all my friends and readers a Happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work due to losing my agent when I became a full time carer to my mother who had dementia. and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother and shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse. I have written a number of different books all available on Amazon, so don't be shy should you feel the urge to purchase. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mr-Joe-Wells/e/B06XKWFQHT/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

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