Today the FAKE NEWS we have to report is the sad death of Greta Thunberg who tragically took her own live in the early hours of the morning, when she learned that the hole in the Earth’s ozone layer had closed up and the world temperature had dropped by three degrees due to the complete lock down of the entire world.
She is reported to have said to her only friend, “first they took my future and now it’s come back why are they playing with my mind in such a cruel way?”
Apparently she locked herself in the garage and turned on her fathers car in the hope that the fumes would kill her but as the car was electric and the battery was flat she then decided to hang herself instead. Unable to find any rope she decided to use the cable from the car’s charger but unfortunately the car mysteriously burst into flames leaving her trapped in the blazing building.
A note she left for her grieving parents allegedly said, ” I no longer have a purpose in life,” tributes have poured in from all over the world.
The Transport Minister said, “How sad but I think it’s the way she would have liked to go.”
Jeremy Clarkson said, “Oh her!”
Extinction Rebellion said, “We will block the traffic in London as a tribute to her, as soon as it manages to get moving again.”
That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio!