Today the FAKE NEWS we have to report is the sad death of Greta Thunberg who tragically took her own live in the early hours of the morning, when she learned that the hole in the Earth’s ozone layer had closed up and the world temperature had dropped by three degrees due to the complete lock down of the entire world.
She is reported to have said to her only friend, “first they took my future and now it’s come back why are they playing with my mind in such a cruel way?”
Apparently she locked herself in the garage and turned on her fathers car in the hope that the fumes would kill her but as the car was electric and the battery was flat she then decided to hang herself instead. Unable to find any rope she decided to use the cable from the car’s charger but unfortunately the car mysteriously burst into flames leaving her trapped in the blazing building.
A note she left for her grieving parents allegedly said, ” I no longer have a purpose in life,” tributes have poured in from all over the world.
The Transport Minister said, “How sad but I think it’s the way she would have liked to go.”
Jeremy Clarkson said, “Oh her!”
Extinction Rebellion said, “We will block the traffic in London as a tribute to her, as soon as it manages to get moving again.”
That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio!
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About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin
I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent.
Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work.
I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise.
I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013.
My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie.
I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes.
I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage.
My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
The Diary of a Country Bumpkin 