According to Generation Z there are 25 signs to tell you are past it, one of which I imagine is having absolutely no idea what a Generation Z is but the definition is not not on the list which mean I had to look it up on Wikipedia.

Generation Z (or Gen Z for short), colloquially known as zoomers,^[1][2] is the demographic cohort succeeding Millennials and preceding Generation Alpha. Researchers and popular media use the mid-to-late 1990s as starting birth years and the early 2010s as ending birth years. Most members of Generation Z are the children of Generation X,^[3] but some are children of early millennials.

Having read the description from Wikipedia it seems that the oldest could be some thirty one years of age while the youngest could only be eleven years old, which in my day would have put them barely out of short trousers.

As for which generation may have fathered these children I have to admit I couldn’t be bothered to find out, no doubt another sign that I am past it.

The following is the list which you dear reader can score yourself and compare notes with my performance should you wish to.

1. You order a Cappuccino – 52 per cent
2. Your underwear is from M&S – 36 per cent
3. You watch Countryfile for the weather forecast at the end – 30 per cent
4. You ask for ‘milk and two sugars’ in your tea – 30 per cent
5. You still have a DVD collection – 29 per cent
6. You ask for a ‘Rachel Cut’ at the hairdressers – 26 per cent
7. You say ‘funky’ – 26 per cent
8. You still send cheques for people’s birthdays – 24 per cent
9. You call trainers ‘sneakers’ – 22 per cent
10. You make noises when you sit down – 22 per cent
11. You wear comfortable shoes – 22 per cent
12. You do not recognise any Love Island contestants – 21 per cent
13. You struggle to work your TV remote – 20 per cent
14. You plan a second route on a car journey just in case – 19 per cent
15. You become obsessed with bin day – 19 per cent
16. You move from BBC Radio 1 to Radio 2 – 19 per cent
17. You still use a gas BBQ – 18 per cent
18. You turn the music down when you park the car – 15 per cent
19. You have never posted a video to social media – 15 per cent
20. You do not know what a Youtuber is – 15 per cent
21. You use hashtags incorrectly – 13 per cent
22. You are still on Facebook – 13 per cent
23. You worry about not being able to find a parking space – 12 per cent
24. You ask for your steak well done – 12 per cent
25. You add salt to your food before tasting it – 11 per cent

I was a little disappointed to find I had fallen at the first hurdle as I do order Cappuccino whereas it was suggested that younger folk might be ordering something a little more on trend like a matcha latte with oat milk, I shall try one next time I visit a coffee bar, never let it be said that I am not one for trying exciting new ideas for my generation were visiting coffee bars as long ago as the 1950’s.

My under garments I generally buy from Amazon as do I with virtually everything we purchase especially since Covid which as I then have to cut up vast quantities of cardboard boxes for the recycling bin it may have some bearing on my answer to question number 15.

Countryfile, I very rarely watch and should I wish to know the weather forecast I can find it on Her Majesty’s BBC online on my desk top computer, although once again I’m letting the side down by not doing this on my telephone.

Numbers 4 and 5, I have to admit to being guilty of both, I like sugar in my tea and I do have a collection of DVD’s mostly old war films along the lines of “The Cruel Sea” with the rather splendid Jack Hawkins, or “Brief Encounter” written by Noel Coward and starring Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson, also “In which we serve” starring once again Noel Coward, what a talented fellow he was.

Luckily the next three I am not guilty of, as a chap I think a Rachel cut would be most inappropriate although along with quite a few others I did sport shoulder length hair somewhere around the 70’s.

I have no recollection of using the word funky, even when it might have been trendy to use the word and I am more than capable of sending a birthday gift by the magic of internet banking so never send cheques.

Whilst I have never called trainers, sneakers which I believe is an American expression I have to admit to using the word plimsoles to describe trainers when talking to young folk but as it was in jest, I feel it doesn’t count.

Yes, I make noises when I sit down, although I am quite capable of doing so in complete silence which I have to admit has often left me wondering why us older folk do it and I do wear comfortable shoes, who in their right mind would wear uncomfortable shoes, generation Z perhaps?

On the rare occasions that I have had the misfortune to catch a glimpse of Love Island or any of these programmes centred around mindless young people I have to wonder why anyone would watch them, let alone remember their names.

With regard to number 13, I have to say I am fairly competent at using the TV remote control although my selection of what to watch may be a tad limited but as long as it contains cars, the Second World War, motor racing and anything about old stuff I’m reasonably happy.

Why would I plan a second route on a car journey just in case, I have no need for this as I have a perfectly competent satnav which can do the job for me.

Whilst I know what day to put the bins out, I do not obsess about it and I have long ago moved to Radio 4 when listening to the wireless.

We do have a BBQ but it is not gas, I build a raging inferno with old fashioned charcoal and let it die down, then leave the cooking to my wife who is far better than I at it and as for wearing one of those ridiculous aprons which makes you look like you are a semi naked muscle bound man or even worse a scantily clothed French maid, I leave to less intelligent men to sport.

As for number 18 I prefer not to have the music on when I’m driving as the speed I tend to go at requires complete concentration.

I have posted more than one video to social media and I am aware of what a Youtuber is, as it was there that I chose to post mine which must make me almost a Youtuber myself, perhaps!

Hashtags, I have to admit have always left me a little confused but as I use them so infrequently I have no idea if I’m doing it correctly or not and I am on Facebook as I prefer having something to actually read when on social media rather than just clicking “like” on a continuous stream of inane photos of young people posing and pouting but each unto their own.

I never worry about not being able to find a parking space for if I am in one of my better and more expensive cars I am quite capable of turning round and not parking and coming home.

Lastly, my wife has taken to cooking quite a few vegetarian meals which I find quite useful as it is somewhat beneficial for the waste line which allows me to imbibe one or two extra lagers to make up for it but when I do have steak I generally ask for it to be cremated as I quite like my steak very well done although I always taste it first before adding salt.

Well there we are that’s my go and I have only scored 10 ish out of 25 and some of those should really be scored as half marks which on my reckoning makes me some way away from being past it.

Strangely, I celebrated my 70th birthday last week and I’m sure like many people of that age I too was left wondering how the last 50 years had gone by quite so quickly!