I wonder if there are awards for the worst customer service companies in Great Britain for if there are I would like to nominate Vodafone, yet again.

With all the woke people around one has to choose one’s words carefully nowadays for fear of offending “everyone” but having just spent the last four or more hours wasting my time with Vodafone I have to say, please get rid of your useless foreign call centres with people who don’t have a sufficiently decent grasp of the English language to solve the problem.

To cut a long story short and I fear I have to as I am in great need of a lay down in a darkened room to calm my frazzled nerves and all I wanted to do was cancel my broadband.

My first phone call with Vodafone went fairly smoothly if not dramatically quickly but at least the end result was that I had cancelled my broadband which meant they would cancel the phone line as well.

Having spoken to my wife we came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea if we could keep the phone line as it’s always useful to have two in case one goes down so I set about trying to find a supplier for just the phone line, not that easy as it turned out, which left me with the brainwave perhaps Vodafone would allow us to keep just the phone line.

I’m sorry if this is becoming a little tedious but I have to get this out of my system in an effort to reduce my blood pressure, where was I, ah yes another phone call to Vodafone sadly this time to a foreign call centre which after much toing and froing resulted in the young lady informing me that they were unable to supply the landline only whereupon I said thanks and left the conversation.

Some time later I came to the conclusion that BT were the only company willing to supply a landline only in my area and I was in the middle of filling in the relevant form when an email pinged up informing me that Vodafone were delighted I had changed my mind and were no longer leaving them.

Three or four attempts to phone Vodafone ended each time with the line just cutting off, so I resorted to email and after eventually completing the security checks I finally got to chat with another fellow in foreign climes who managed to get the gist of my complaint and that I wanted to confirm that I still wanted to cancel my broadband but he informed me that I could only do it on the phone.

Having spent a further 15 or 20 minutes trying to get through on the telephone but as each time it just cut off so I was unable to get through to sort the problem, I finally threw in the towel and in an effort to remain positive used my experience as a subject for this post.

My blood pressure is coming down slowly and as they say, “I’m feeling a little better now, thank you Doctor,” although rather worryingly these are said to be the last words of many a poor soul, hopefully I shall not myself be drawn towards the light as I have to go though all this again tomorrow.

Vodafone, nil points.