Some time ago when we were in the EU the French fishermen were allowed to come into British waters and fish willy-nilly carting off vast amounts of fish, until we finally had enough of it.

We’ve always had trouble with the French, firstly they were always jealous that we had a bigger Empire, then the cheese eating surrender monkeys put up such a dismal fight against the Nazis that they were overrun in a matter of days and yes, I realise the German troops were drugged up to the nines on methamphetamine but you would have thought they could have put up a better fight than they did.

Of course then we, the plucky Brits had to go and rescue them, saving as we did the entire world and what thanks did we get from the French after the war, nothing that’s what, at least the Norwegians gave us a Christmas tree every year.

Then to make matters worse General Charles De Gaulle the leader of the free French who we sheltered after he fled to Britain during the war had the audacity to refuse us entry into the Common Market.

Unfortunately this sort of behaviour is like a red rag to a bull to us British so we fought for years until they finally capitulated and let us join and what a mistake that was and after years of subsidising virtually all of Europe we had finally had enough and we Brexited, taking our fishing rights with us.

Now le botte was dans l’autre foot, non, non Monsieur Frenchie vous n’avez pas le right to steal our poisson from Le Pas-De-Calais or as it is correctly known the Strait of Dover and yet an act of piracy has taken place, they’ve only gone and impounded one of our fishing fleet.

Some years ago this sort of action would have called for the immediate muster of a couple of gun boats to blockade the French ports, an action that could have led to war but nowadays we prefer the diplomatic approach, however if this should fail we may forced into some sort of cod war.

This being the case, I have this to say to the French, we have had many sea battles with you, the majority of which we have won an example of which is of course The Battle of Trafalgar with our cannon balls bouncing across the surface of the sea, long before Barnes Wallis used the idea, leading to the decimation of the French and Spanish fleet.

We are a proud seafaring nation and are up for a fight, are you?

Come on, if you think you’re hard enough!

Why Nelson's Triumph At Trafalgar Didn't Turn the Tide On Napoleon -  HistoryExtra


About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work due to losing my agent when I became a full time carer to my mother who had dementia. and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother and shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse. I have written a number of different books all available on Amazon, so don't be shy should you feel the urge to purchase.
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