I’m a little lost for words having just seen the list for the best jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe, sadly number one on the list has been chosen as the finniest, a joke told by Masai Graham who has apparently won the award before.
All I can say is, if these were the best jokes, I hate to think how awful the worst ones must been.
1. Masai Graham: I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta.
2. Mark Simmons: Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery.
3. Olaf Falafel: My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.
4. Hannah Fairweather: By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I – but it is the same house and it is the same family.
5. Will Mars: I hate funerals – I’m not a mourning person.
6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back.
7. Richard Pulsford: I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.
8. Tim Vine: I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery.
9. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.
10. Will Duggan: I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days.
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin
I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent.
Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work.
I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise.
I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013.
My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie.
I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes.
I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage.
My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
The Diary of a Country Bumpkin 
I am not rolling on the floor laughing!
They had the same effect on me too, I didn’t even get as far as laughing, let alone rolling on the floor!