I had ordered an item from Ebay which should have been delivered on Saturday but at no time during the day did anyone from Yodel ring our gate intercom to deliver the package and just a little reminder for those of you who may have seen some of my previous posts, including a photo of our front gates which as a reminder are at least 10 feet tall with the name of the house emblazoned down the left-hand side in large white letters.

By the time I had checked my emails to find my parcel had not been delivered it was too late to contact Yodel until Monday when their office was open again, however checking the email it was very ambiguous as to exactly the parcel had been left.

The following is the email message which to me seemed to suggest the parcel may have been taken straight to the depot and as you will see if you read further the address which I was given as the delivery address doesn’t exist.

Your parcel has been delivered to your neighbour

WALTHAM CROSS SERVICE CENTRE

I first tried to contact by telephone but the conversation was such that I found myself disappearing up my own rectum as I was connected to an AI bot thing ( I think that’s the technical way to describe one of these things) so decided to risk the live chat as it couldn’t be any worse, could it?

Mon, Jul 24

Before we chat, we just need a few details about you and your parcel.

I completed all the details requested of me.

Done

Yodel • ‎2:46 PM

Done

‎2:47 PM

Thanks for completing these details. You will shortly be connected to one of our team.

Yodel • ‎2:47 PM

Good Afternoon, Joe. Thank you for contacting Yodel Livechat support. How are you doing today?

Vijay Kumar • ‎2:50 PM

I WAS FEELING FAIRLY POORLY AS I HAD SUCCUMBED TO A MILD COLD (MAN FLU) OVER THE WEEKEND AND HAD NO WISH TO SPEND TIME DISCUSSING HOW I WAS ACTUALLY DOING TODAY, TOGETHER WITH THE REALISATION THAT HE HAD NO WISH TO KNOW HOW I WAS DOING AT ALL, SO I BASHED STRAIGHT IN WITH THE FOLLOWING.

I was in all day Saturday but for some reason your delivery driver did not ring our gate intercom or contact me to deliver my parcel and I am wanting to know where my parcel is?

‎2:51 PM

Joe, I understand your concern regarding the parcel. Please allow me a few minutes to check your parcel details and assist you further.

‎2:52 PM

Thank you for waiting. Your parcel was delivered on 22nd July 2023, at 13:58 PM, according to the driver’s comment it was delivered to the neighbours (HOEHouse Number: JOE). As per the driver’s location on the map, the parcel was scanned a bit away from the exact location, it might be due to the driver was not in the network area. Can you please check with your neighbours and around the property as well?

Vijay Kumar • ‎2:55 PM

I IMAGINE MR VIJAY KUMAR MUST HAVE ASSUMED (HOEHouse Number:JOE) WAS A PERFECTLY NORMAL ADDRESS FOR A HOUSE IN RURAL HERTFORDSHIRE AND AS FOR THE SUGGESTION THAT THE PARCEL MAY HAVE BEEN SCANNED A BIT AWAY FROM THE EXACT LOCATION WAS SOMEWHAT CONFIRMED TO ME AS IT SAID ON THE EMAIL, WALTHAM CROSS SERVICE CENTRE WHICH IS THEIR DEPOT OVER TWENTY MILES AWAY, I HAVE TO ADMIT I WAS RATHER HOPING FOR AN ADMISSION THAT THE DRIVER WAS TOO BLOODY LAZY TO DELIVER TO MY HOUSE AND JUST TOOK IT STRAIGHT TO THE DEPOT WHERE HE SCANNED THE ITEM AS IF AT MY NEIGHBOUR’S HOUSE. SO I CONTINUED WITH.

There is no house anywhere near me called (HOEHouse Number: JOE)   So can you please tell me where my parcel is?

‎2:56 PM

I apologise for this experience. As you have confirmed that you haven’t received this parcel. I’ll be raising it with the concerned team. The team will make an attempt to gather more information on this delivery which will include all the facts and findings. In case needed the driver will also be interviewed about the delivery. Could you please confirm if this is the correct email address where we can keep you updated on xxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

Vijay Kumar • ‎2:59 PM

Yes this is my email but this still does not answer my question, where is my parcel?

‎3:00 PM

Thank you for confirming your email id. Please be assured that I have raised this investigation with the depot to interview the driver to gain more clarity on this delivery. The team will get back to you within the next 24 hours with all facts and findings and help you to locate your parcel.

‎3:02 PM

Are we still connected?

Vijay Kumar • ‎3:04 PM

I would like an answer a little sooner than that, I needed this item for a project I was working on and do not have the time to waste while you look for my parcel.

‎3:05 PM

I have already raised this with the depot, we have an instigation team for this if found any negligence or laxity, Action will be taken against the driver.

I understand how important this parcel is for you. Apart from this is there anything else that I may assist you with today?

Vijay Kumar • ‎3:06 PM

I’m glad to hear that but it doesn’t solve my problem as I needed the item at the weekend.

‎3:07 PM

Joe, the further steps will be situational based on the outcome of the investigation. Once we have an update from the team we will keep you posted.

Apart from this is there anything else that I may assist you with today?

3:09 PM

AT THIS POINT I WAS WRITING MY LETTER OF COMPLAINT AS AN EXTREMELY DISGRUNTLED CUSTOMER BUT BEFORE I HAD TIME TO FINISH THE OPERATIVE CUT ME OFF.

Are we still connected?

‎3:11 PM

As I have not heard from you for a while, I will now close down this chat. I hope I have been able to answer all of your queries today. If you do need any further help, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

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Vijay Kumar • ‎3:12 PM

I DECIDED NOT TO TAKE PART IN THEIR SHORT SURVEY AS I SO EASILY SLIP INTO USING BAG LANGUAGE WHEN FACED WITH SITUATIONS LIKE THESE.

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE VALIANTLY READ THIS TRANSCRIPT TO THE END, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PERSIVERANCE. I AM WONDERING IF THERE WILL BE AN UPDATE OR WHETHER THEY WILL IGNORE ME IN THE HOPE THAT I WILL JUST GO AWAY. WE SHALL SEE!