Author Archives: The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.

HOW TO STOP HOSEPIPE BANS.

There is a very simple way to stop having hosepipe bans which seems to have been overlooked, quite simply the pay of the Chief Executive should be directly related to the amount of water lost from their leaky pipes. Given … Continue reading

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ICE COLD IN ALEX.

I was reminded just recently by a friend in the Americas that we Brits are in for yet more in the way of a heatwave but was quick to point out that should needs be I will break out my … Continue reading

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ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB.

In what is yet another example of what NOT to wish for with levelling up it seems the London based Arsenal Football club has the most expensive lager sold in its stadium in the Premier league at £7.60 a pint. … Continue reading

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GORDON BROWN DEMANDS COBRA MEETING.

Yesterday, ex Prime Minister Gordon Brown demanded the Government hold an urgent Cobra meeting to discuss the precarious state of the economy and suggested Kier Starmer could take part. Unfortunately, Kier Starmer is away on holiday at the moment so … Continue reading

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PROSECUTE CYCLISTS WHO KILL.

I was watching Jeremy Vine on the television who is an ardent cyclist, springing to their defence at every conceivable occasion and this morning was no exception, saying reckless car drivers were far worse than cyclists as they killed more … Continue reading

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HOSEPIPE BANS.

Just recently various water authorities have brought in hosepipe bans due to the shortage of water which seemed to make sense until you start to look at the facts. It seems that 71% of the world is covered with water … Continue reading

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THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS.

My wife has recently taken up vegetable gardening and I have been roped in to help on a practical basis by building raised beds refurbing the greenhouse and now in the erecting of a much larger building which will be … Continue reading

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CONSERVATIVE PARTY LEADERSHIP ELECTION.

I have just received my voting forms for the Conservative Leadership Election but have noticed there is no box to vote for Boris Johnson, I suppose this is because if there were a box for Boris he would win the … Continue reading

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WELL DONE THE LIONESSES.

I know absolutely nothing about football but I believe congratulations are in order for the plucky English lady footballers as they have won, I think the European Championship by beating the Germans 2-1. Apparently this was last achieved by the … Continue reading

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MODERN PETROL IS RUBBISH.

I have a Morris Minor and some time before Covid I had to replace the head gasket which I did with the assistance of my friend Tony Donnelly, quick name check there! My memory is awful I have to admit, … Continue reading

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