The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I have just received my voting forms for the Conservative Leadership Election but have noticed there is no box to vote for Boris Johnson, I suppose this is because if there were a box for Boris he would win the election!

I know absolutely nothing about football but I believe congratulations are in order for the plucky English lady footballers as they have won, I think the European Championship by beating the Germans 2-1.

Apparently this was last achieved by the men’s team some 56 years ago in 1966 which from recollection was also our first major defeat of the Germans since 1945.

One has to be so careful as people are so easily offended nowadays, so I was surprised that the ladies team are called the Lionesses and especially surprised they are referred to as ladies as I believe one is not allowed to refer to pregnant women giving birth as women in case this offends any men who may be in the maternity ward also giving birth.

On the subject of men, I understand that the women’s football has become increasingly popular with men, especially since they changed the rules on women’s beach volley ball banning the girls from wearing skimpy bikinis.

Could the upsurge of interest from the male of the species in women’s football have anything to do with the alleged number of lesbians in the team, so now the ladies football fulfils many a mans fantasy, after all it’s football, played by lesbians who when scoring a goal rush to hug and kiss each other and then at the end of the game should they win, they remove their top and run around the pitch in their brassiere.

So, to sum up and to try to explain the sudden upsurge of male viewers, it’s football, played by semi naked lesbians, kissing and fondling each other, I could be wrong of course as I have to admit I know absolutely nothing about football.

I have a Morris Minor and some time before Covid I had to replace the head gasket which I did with the assistance of my friend Tony Donnelly, quick name check there!

My memory is awful I have to admit, for example I have trouble remembering what I had for breakfast so the timeline in this story my not be as accurate as I would like, however it is not the most important aspect of the tale.

Some time after doing the head gasket the car started puffing out smoke again so I assumed as there was no oil in the radiator it must be the valve stem oil seals which also needed doing but Covid came along and I just put the car in the garage and occasionally started it until eventually it was running so rough and chucking out more smoke that I left it until I had more time.

I was recently at the time when I thought, I must finish the Morris Minor but was a little upset that an MBG GT that I also own had also recently started smoking which made me think I now had another car requiring a new head gasket, however it also prompted me in the direction of a different solution to my problem, one that was both cheaper and a damn sight easier.

My concept of time is also rubbish but I suddenly thought, ‘I wonder how long the petrol has been in the cars?’ With this in mind I rushed to drain the fuel tank and took the opportunity to replace the rubber fuel lines with modern R9 ones which will not fall apart the minute they have contact with the beastly methanol which is in modern petrol.

Blow me down, sure as eggs is eggs, the minute I changed the fuel and started the car it was running as smooth as silk with no smoke emerging from the exhaust, which on the positive side made me quite pleased as it was an easy and cheap fix, however on the negative side it made me hate this modern fuel with Ethanol even more than I did before.

I was so elated with my cheap fix that I thought I would wash the old girl as she had accumulated quite a bit of dust during her Covid hibernation in the garage, all I have to do now is to change the seized brake cylinders for her to be back to her normal self.

Sadly, I still think modern petrol is absolutely awful and look forward to the promised synthetic petrol which is being developed by the F1 industry and which will be the saviour of petrolheads everywhere.

It will also be interesting to see in a few years time when people have finally cottoned on to the fact that electric cars are nowhere as green as they are made out to be and there will be advertisements asking, ‘were you miss sold an electric car, sign up here to apply for your compensation!’

Angella and I had a fabulous time at the Woodhall Spa Forties Weekend, what a brilliant event with a wonderful atmosphere. Plus a fly past each day by a Spitfire, Hurricane and a Lancaster, I especially enjoyed the Lancaster which seemed extremely low and the superb sound of four Merlin engines.

Click on the link below for the Lancaster and don’t forget to turn the sound right up to get the real feel of the thing!

https://www.facebook.com/WoodhallSpa40sFestival/videos/1024147171460085

Just a couple more photos from our Woodhall Spa Weekend where we stayed at the Golf Hotel which I think had the best selection of vintage clothing and musical acts where I was lucky to buy two new suits which should do nicely for Goodwood Revival and Riviera Swing later this year. Not only that but Mr Churchill turned up with his entourage and gave a very stirring speech which I’m sure helped the war effort no end!

Rolling roadblocks were being used by protesters in lorries, vans, cars and tractors to force traffic to slow or stop in the country today as a demonstration against high fuel prices.

Police have arrested a number of those involved for driving too slowly while some roads were blocked using a stinger device to stop protesters with diversions set up elsewhere to try to minimise disruption.

With fuel duty levied at 59.95 per litre and VAT added at 20% on both the product price and the duty we are effectively paying 50% of the price of a litre of petrol in tax.

Now, it seems to me with margins like that the Government has ample room to lower the price of petrol by a very considerable margin and still take as much in tax as they were doing before the war in Ukraine.

My sympathies are very much with the protesters but I have to say this is not the right way to go about protesting about the price of fuel and I have a nasty feeling the Police are not going to take the softly softly approach they did with the climate change protesters, unfortunately driving at such slow speeds on a motorway leaves them open to prosecution for driving offences and as an easy target I fear the Police will be swift to react, let’s hope not

I first started driving in 1968 when I could fill my car up for £2.00, I think the cost of petrol was 6/3d a gallon, now if I want to fill my rather extravagant Bentley Arnage I need over £200.00 and young people think we are exaggerating about ‘the good old days!’

I was lucky enough to have some of my work published in The Short of It.

If you follow the link you can view them, I hope you enjoy.

Just recently there seems to be a witch hunt for Boris Johnson, blaming him for everything including the recent alleged drunken groping of two men by MP Chris Pincher.

Now, yet another alleged story has emerged of a toilet paper shortage in one of the toilets in the House of Commons, as yet though the Prime Minister has not taken responsibility for the shortage.

We met an old friend of mine and his partner who I have known now for over 55 years, my how time flies and went to the Goodwood Festival of Speed this week, staying in our usual hotel, the rather amusing Old Railway Station at Petworth.

As a GRRC Member we parked the Arnage in the Performance Car Park and headed to the Kinrara Enclosure where we were based for the day, having watched the cars going up the hill for a while we went for a walk round and then came back for lunch.

I’m always surprised that you never see people you know in such a large crowd, they must be there but never in the same place you are at the time, however during lunch one chap came to say hello who recognised me from when we had our cars displayed at Goodwood House in 2009, yet again time flies!

Finally, during a walk around the paddocks I came across a strange looking WO Bentley which looked brand new but not in a way that a concours restoration would look and upon questioning I was told it was one of the continuation Henry Birkin blower cars and indeed was brand new. Apparently, this was their development car and had just done 17000 miles and looked stunning.

On Sunday 22nd May members of the Eastern Region gathered to board a 1956 SB Bedford coach for our trip to the Imperial War Museum London, the choice of vehicle was generally agreed to be an interesting and amusing choice. Our route took in the iconic Tower Bridge which became a photo opportunity for the tourists on the bridge, a little different from the red Route Master they usually get to photograph. The museum was very interesting with the usual military vehicles associated with war, some rather casual parking of a boat on the third floor and the obligatory Spitfire and Monty’s Humber staff car. Also of interest were parts of the Berlin Wall and a rather thought-provoking Holocaust display and a very moving battered window from from one of the Twin Towers. All in all, a very successful trip.

I have to say I’m sick to death of Partygate, I don’t give a flying fig about the Prime Minister being handed a cake in a Tupperware box, or popping into a room and raising a glass to wish someone well when leaving the job.

I don’t even care if Keir Starmer had a Corma or a Vindaloo, or a Budweiser instead of a Carlsberg, I’m sick to death of the whole fuss made of a few people having a drink after work, after all they aren’t going to spread Covid as they have already spent all day in the office together.

Stop this petty nonsense, I’ve had enough, THE PARTY’S OVER, IT’S TIME TO CALL IT A DAY.