The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

Prince Harry is to write his memoir, which is promised to be an accurate and wholly truthful account of his life and will cover his time in the military, marriage and fatherhood.

Apparently the memoir is to be written with the aid of a ghost writer and, one assumes the assistance of Meghan and will tell the story from the point of view of the man he has become and not as the Prince he was born.

As two people who fled the Royal Family desperate for some privacy they seem to have done nothing but court publicity since their dismal attempt as working Royals.

One wonders if this book is going to have as many falsehoods as the interview with Oprah Winfrey, in which case perhaps it is one of Meghan’s fairy story children’s books and not a memoir.

I would imagine most people are looking forward to the release of this book with about as much enthusiasm as an attack of very bad of diarrhoea.

I must say freedom day has been a bit of an anti climax, unlike the thousands of hard core clubbers many of whom haven’t had their two jabs who were crammed into a nightclub ready for the midnight countdown before dancing and sweating and generally super spreading Covid-19.

On the other hand I did some emails, spoke to friends on the telephone, spoke to the garage to arrange to get my classic 1947 Bentley in to look at the steering and spent some considerable time helping my wife do the garden, which I think overall was a slightly safer way of carrying on, although to some younger members of the community may think it a little dull.

Although on Thursday I am going to meet friends in the Bentley Drivers Club for lunch, I expect we will probably continue with the mask wearing Covid precautions etc, as they say, old habits die hard.

After a stunning performance following the racing incident on lap one where he received a ten second penalty, seven times World Motor Racing Champion Lewis Hamilton fought his way back through the field to win the British Grand Prix for the eight time.

I would be singing, Motor Racings coming home but having had 15 different British drivers win the World Championship on 20 separate years, I’m forced to suggest Motor Racing has never left home, well done Lewis.

I have particularly been enjoying the Secrets of the Transport Museum which is about Brooklands Museum and is on the Yesterday TV channel, I recently watched again two episodes, one in which Julian Grimwade got the ex Rob Walker Delahaye 135S going again after a long lay up.

Rob Walker was the heir to the Johnny Walker whiskey empire and raced the car at 24 hour Le Mans in 1935, apparently he just turned up and raced while wearing a pin stripe suit when driving during the day and a tweed suit whilst driving at night, a proper gentleman driver.

Another episode I enjoyed was when Harry Fraser made new seats for a 1929 4 1/2 WO Bentley always great to watch a skilled tradesman at work, I thoroughly recommend the programme especially if you are a bit of a car enthusiast like me.

I’m looking forward to the Museum being fully open after the 19th July when I can go for lunch with friends in the Members Bar.

I heard just recently that various Water companies have been criticised for sewage spills, apparently they are knowingly letting sewage spill into the sea, one company Southern Water has recently been fined 90 million pounds for doing so.

Now call me old fashioned but is fining these companies going to help the situation, especially where the spills are because of outdated equipment or lack of investment.

Would it not perhaps be better if the companies were forced to spend the 90 million on upgrading their processes and equipment to stop any further sewage spills, it seems a slightly more logical way of doing things than fining them and taking away a considerable amount of money which should be spent preventing further spills.

I suppose the problem is that there is no Government department for logic!

Yet more proof that the world is becoming ever more woke and is fast losing the plot with the latest news that the Entomological Society of America is doing away with the name Gypsy Moth on the grounds that it is an ethnic slur.

Apparently they are doing away with the name gypsy ant as well, although I have to admit I have never heard of a gypsy ant or perhaps it’s only found in America.

The justification for doing away with the name gypsy was it has been rejected by Romani people a long time ago and no-one wants to be associated with a harmful invasive pest, I assume they are referring to the moth.

The Entomological Society is on the lookout for a new name for the moth and are open to suggestions which is just as well as the last time they changed a name a committee of fish experts changed the name of the Jewfish to Goliath Grouper.

Clearly I wouldn’t leave these people in charge of a cocktail party in an off licence judging by their previous effort but if they are so desperate to change a perfectly decent name that has been around for decades so be it but let’s hope they don’t get ideas above their station and try to change the name on the rather wonderful Gypsy Moth aircraft.

It seems Harry and Meghan have been nominated for an Emmy which is an American award which is bestowed by the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences in recognition of excellence.

Now, one knows the Americans can sometimes be a little loud and a trifle brash, perhaps even a tad naïve, after all 72 million of them voted for Mr Trump and many still believe he is the best thing since sliced bread, with subtlety and class not being known as one of their finer points.

So it’s no wonder that they have nominated Harry and Meghan for an interview with Oprah Winfrey, most of which was later found to be full of exaggeration, fantasy and down right lies, although even more bizarre is the fact they are nominated in the non fiction category.

In times gone by I would have offered to eat my hat if this rubbish actually won an award, however in these modern times I am not willing to risk indigestion and the loss of one of my hats, as I’m afraid the Oprah interview is the sort of rubbish which may be right up the American’s street, let’s hope not as it will only encourage them to do more!

As someone who knows absolutely nothing about football I’m inclined to say there is no racism in football, after all every team has black players and one would assume that if the football teams and managers were racist there wouldn’t be so many black players in the game.

However, if the question, is there racism in football from the fans, then without a doubt the answer is a categorical yes.

Quite how the racist supporters can boo and make monkey noises when a black player of the opposing side gets the ball and I assume keep perfectly quiet or even cheer when the same situation is played out by a black player in the team they support I find hard to understand.

I don’t watch football but was listening as my wife watched the England Italy game for the Euro Cup thing and from her protestations it seemed the Italians were not exactly playing entirely fair and were fouling players left right and centre, although I have no idea if it was aimed specifically at black players

One thing I know for a fact is that there are a considerable number of racists who are football supporters as I know of groups of black people being turned upon in pubs, who after peacefully watching the game were set upon and made to leave the pub by other supporters and I have heard of black people being assaulted in the street after the match, although I don’t think it was reported in the news anywhere.

Frankly I’m very glad I don’t like football as the actions of some of the supporters is despicable and I get far more pleasure from supporting a sport where British people actually win on a regular basis, I am referring of course to Formula 1 motor racing.

In the same time as England has won the World Cup once, the World Motor Racing Championship has been won by a British man on 20 separate years and by 15 different drivers, the most recent being a black man called Lewis Hamilton who has won it 7 times.

For those of you with young children who were disappointed with the result of the football last night may I suggest my children’s book NOBBY BRASSO FOOTBALL STAR which tells the story of a young boy and his rise to football stardom and playing in the Cup Final with a more positive result than last night.

Boiling lobsters alive is to be banned under new Government legislation for animal welfare called the Animal Welfare (Sentience) Bill, which is currently going through the House of Lords but only covers animals with a backbone at the moment.

However, it seems the Bill is to be amended by the House of Lords which would mean crabs, lobsters, octopuses, squid and other invertebrates are recognised as sentient beings capable of feeling pain.

The Bill would give lobsters legal protections and stop fishmongers and chefs boiling crustaceans alive, instead they would have be stunned or chilled before boiling which is believed to be a more humane way of cooking.

I am delighted to say I have never eaten lobster and as someone whose cooking skills are limited to cheese on toast or beans on toast, I have no idea how one would tackle cooking any invertebrates from the sea and having tried to eat squid once I have to wonder why you would want do such a thing.

Shrink-wrapping live shellfish or posting them is also likely to be banned under the amendment, put forward by Baroness Hayman of Ullock and I say bravo to her as I imagine they must suffocate which can’t be a pleasant way to go, gasping for air in a plastic bag although how one would humanely dispatch a whelk I have no idea.

I am eating less meat now than I did and can see the point for animal welfare as for example, I view the rabbits that stray into our garden not as a meat product but more as a decorative item, hence the expression, “ah, look at the pretty bunny wabbits.”

It has always seemed a little harsh to kill a lobster by plunging them into boiling water but I imagine if one were to warm the water up gently there would be a tendency for them to get out once it was past comfortable bath temperature.

As for the alternatives of stunning with some sort of electric prod or frozen to death with some sort of icy blast or the older version of plunging a large sharp knife through the top of their heads, none of which seems that humane to me.

I shall leave this to the experts and shall remain happy in the knowledge that I have inflicted no pain on any of these creatures as I’m not keen on eating them, especially the ones that taste like rubber or have the consistency of snot.