The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

From the title of this post, you may well be wondering what on earth is this particular post is all about and I can’t say I would blame you, but fear not for all will be revealed.

You may find that the following article is full of modern business speak which is extremely hard to translate into English but I will attempt to translate wherever possible, in simple language Edinburgh based financial services giant Standard Life Aberdeen yesterday unveiled plans to change its name to Abrdn.

Now this is where it starts to get complicated for it says the new name will be pronounced Aberdeen and I quote, “will be part of a modern, agile, digitally enabled brand that will also be used for all the company’s client-facing businesses globally.”

The explanation of “client facing” I am unsure of as I would have thought it would be thought somewhat rude to turn one’s back on a client and not to face them.

The new name Abrdn was dreamt up by a brand consultancy called Wolff Olins but one wonders how many people they consulted, for had they asked me I could have told them there was nothing wrong with the old name.  

A spokesperson for Abrdn said, “the rebranding roll-out process for the new name and associated visual identity will begin in the summer and progress through 2021, alongside implementation of a full stakeholder engagement plan to manage the transition,” which I think means, they will be putting the new name above the shop during 2021.

Mr Stephen Bird, chief executive of Standard Life Aberdeen, said “Our new brand Abrdn builds on our heritage and is modern, dynamic and, most importantly, engaging for all of our client and customer channels,” and continued, “our new name reflects the clarity of focus that the leadership team are bringing to the business as we seek to deliver sustainable growth.”

Standard Life Aberdeen declared that “the new brand identity marks the next stage in the reshaping of the business and future-focused growth strategy.”

How on earth a jumble of letters can be modern, dynamic and engage clients and customer channels, (whatever a customer channel may be) whilst reshaping the business and future-focused growth strategy.

Having translated, from modern business speak I think what it basically says is; business renamed to a collection of jumbled letters, though God knows why, or to put it more succinctly, WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!

The British-Iranian charity worker has been given an additional jail term of a further year having already completed a five-year sentence on charges of alleged spying by Iranian authorities.

Apparently she received the second sentence for spreading propaganda against the system for participating in a protest in front of the Iranian Embassy in London in 2009 and will there be further charges when she has finished this sentence.

I am sure the poor woman is as innocent as the day is long and is just being used as a pawn in a game and the Prime Minister commented that Iran’s decision to sentence her to another year in prison is cruel, inhumane and wholly unjustified.

Whilst Great Britain has been criticised in the past for being a tad jingoistic I am forced to think how much easier a problem like this may have been sorted with the quick application of a gunboat steaming into harbour the Union flag proudly displayed with all guns blazing.

Sadly, while that sort of action may have worked in the old days, today threatening a lunatic on the verge of creating their own nuclear bomb may not be the most sensible course of action.

I do hope the Government manage to find a way to free this poor woman and my sympathies go to her and her family.

I have mentioned before I know nothing about football and never watch it as I prefer motor racing but I noticed this week some of the teams and I believe what they call the Football Association together with some of the players are going to boycott social media for four days as a protest against the racist abuse the black players are receiving.

Whilst I can understand why the black players are upset as racial abuse is a vile and awful thing for them to receive, I have a suggestion as to how they may lessen the impact of this dreadful abuse.

Although not a solution as to how to stop it, unless of course Police action may be taken against the perpetrators, in the meantime I suggest every time a player receives a tweet or Facebook message etc, they remind themselves that they are probably earning more in a week than the ignorant people sending racist messages will earn in a year, that’s if they have the intelligence to have a job at all.

Obviously it won’t stop the abuse but it might make them feel a little better about the situation, I certainly hope so.

Today was drive it day and like many classic car owners I took the opportunity to take my 1947 Bentley Mk VI out for a run, the general idea being to raise the profile of our hobby and to make one or two people smile as we pass by, which I succeeded in doing.

The Federation of British Historic Motoring Clubs was supporting the day by selling Drive it Day rally plates to display on our cars the profits of which went to the NSPCC ChildLine charity.

I took my wife to the supermarket to pick up some much needed supplies of Lager and on the way home stopped on the Heath to take a quick photo and then went off for another two or three hours, what a pleasant way to raise money for charity.

How sad to be watching the funeral of HRH Prince Philip but what a splendid event it was especially considering the restrictions that the current Covid pandemic had put on proceedings.

The whole thing was class from the word go with the Military bands marching into position in Windsor Castle and then playing some of the most wonderful pieces of music all chosen by the Duke himself.

Starting with three of my personal favourites, firstly the hymn, I vow to thee my country followed by Jerusalem and then Nimrod from Elgar’s Enigma Variations, I wouldn’t have thought there was a dry eye in the house as they say, I know there was a tear in mine.

How wonderful to see the coffin with his sword, military cap and a wreath of white roses and lilies on the back of a converted Land Rover, once again Prince Philip’s idea followed by his children walking behind and lastly Her Majesty the Queen in the Royal Bentley, sadly now both vehicle manufacturers foreign owned but still British icons.

The cortege stopped outside St George’s Chapel for one minutes silence before Prince Philip’s coffin was carried into the Chapel being piped aboard by members of the Royal Navy on bosun’s whistles.

The Dean of Windsor took precedence over the Archbishop of Canterbury for the service, once again marked by the splendid music chosen, the first hymn being “Eternal father, strong to save,” better known I suspect as, “for those in peril on the sea,” another influence by Prince Philip.

There were very few shots of the Queen during the service but after a rather moving bugle rendition of the last post and the Royal Navy’s call to action, the service finished with a lone piper slowly marching through the Chapel door as the final cords of his lament gradually faded.

What a wonderful send off for a rather splendid man which leaves me to post my own small tribute although I have no recollection of where the expression came from, I imagine it may be Cockney slang in the first instance.

HRH Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh; “Diamond Geezer.”

I have been thinking about posting on this subject for some time but it’s such a controversial subject that I have steered clear as it’s so easy to write something in this day and age and offend half the world and it’s mother.

It is obvious that Black Lives Matter and I can see many of the injustices that this campaign complains about and agree with them, where I have trouble is why on earth do we in Great Britain follow this awful American habit of kneeling down to show support.

I would have thought the old fashioned British way of showing respect for a cause by standing proudly to attention for two minutes silence is a far more dignified way of doing things and one I would personally feel much more at home with should I be asked to join in.

Recently I saw the news which had the start of a football match where all the players stood to attention and did not take the knee, where it was suggested this might be a trend for all the matches but as I don’t watch football I have no idea if this was the case.

Sadly my favourite sport of motor racing is still a mishmash of those kneeling and those standing and looks very untidy, which leaves me with my final thought on the matter.

It seems strange to me that the BLM movement is one that complains that black people are being subjugated and treated poorly and yet the action they choose to complain with is an action of subjugation, so I say standing up proudly for your rights is a much better way of going about things when in Great Britain.

The following statement was issued by Buckingham Palace this morning;

 “It is with deep sorrow that Her Majesty The Queen announces the death of her beloved husband, His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.”

“His Royal Highness passed away peacefully this morning at Windsor Castle.

“Further announcements will be made in due course. The Royal Family join with people around the world in mourning his loss.”

Quite a shock to awake to the news this morning of the passing of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh the longest serving consort to a British monarch who was at times outspoken, ahead of his time with many issues, fellow with a splendid sense of humour and all round good egg.

Condolences to his family, especially Her Majesty the Queen and I think it safe to repeat the old saying “a nation mourns” and know that it does.

God save The Queen.

I had occasion to communicate with a workman on behalf of a friend of mine to inquire when said workman would be back to remove his rubbish and decided a text message would be the best option.

Some considerable time ago in Victorian times the postal service in London was so quick and reliable that one could write to a maiden Aunt in the morning inviting her to afternoon tea and receive her reply in plenty of time to send your man to the market for some cucumbers for the sandwiches, assuming one had some ready money about oneself to pay for the transaction.

Alas, this is no longer the case hence the proliferation of text messages one is currently bombarded with especially if one has any contact with the younger members of the community.

Having decided to use text for my communication my wife informed me it was considered bad form to use a full stop at the end of the sentence, which caused a somewhat heated debate as to how to write a text message.

Apparently my wife had been informed by friends of hers who had been told by their young children who I believe also said it was wrong to use a question mark at the end of a sentence which I personally thought was all very peculiar as when I text I tend to use full punctuation as one might when writing a letter.

It seems to me that with punctuation one can translate the full meaning of the text unlike a communication from the young with absolutely no punctuation which can take some considerable amount of time before one can make sense of it.

Modern life is a constant minefield of dilemmas as indeed with this current post which I was unsure how to end but decided in the end to finish with the tried and tested full stop.

Algernon. [Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially

Lane. [Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice.

Algernon. No cucumbers!

Lane. No, sir. Not even for ready money.

Algernon. That will do, Lane, thank you.

Lane. Thank you, sir. [Goes out.]

The World Health Organisation has concluded its report on their visit to China and cannot categorically say where the Covid pandemic started although they do believe it came from bats who infected another species which then passed it on to man.

During their visit to China it seems they were restricted as to access to all the places they wished to go and they have left the the door open as to whether it started in a Chinese laboratory.

Thankfully the rollout of the Covid vaccine is going fairly well but there is always a chance of another outbreak of some sort, so with that in mind I have some advice for the Chinese, STOP EATING BATS AND RATS! THANK YOU.