My what strange creatures children are, I’m sure when we were young we were not like these modern kids.

For a start we were told from an early age that children should be seen and not heard and not to speak to a grownup until they spoke to you. Modern kids are far more confident, if that’s the word I’m looking for, although I believe the expression is ‘in your face’.

Why is it that todays kids have absolutely no idea of spatial awareness, I believe there is a recognised distance which is comfortable between people and so many youngsters seem to invade it.

They also seem unable to talk without shifting about all the time and when they are together in a group they all have to talk at the same time. God knows how they understand what they’re saying, although I suspect that in all the cocofany they neither know nor care what the others are saying.

My, how quickly I seem to have taken on the role of ‘father’, or did I as they say, with greatness, have it thrust upon me.

Anyway I’m just back from dropping our youngest at the station for school and was thinking of the chores they were supposed to do before going to school, none of which have been completed to a proper standard.

Perhaps we expect too much from them, I’m new to this parenting lark, but they all seem to fail dismally at any task they are asked to perform.

Shall we start with todays list, which is pretty much the same as any days list, but here we go.

Our youngest, a girl, gets up first and her first job is to put some wood on the stove to catch it before it goes out. This should entail putting some small pieces on the fire before committing to the larger logs, however most mornings when you come down she has placed a log the size of Seven Oaks in it.

I’m usually not far behind her and manage to retrieve the situation but I always wonder is it laziness, stupidity or are they just being very clever, knowing I will always come down and effectively do the job for them, (answers on postcard to…)

The same applies to our next in line a boy, his task in the morning is to clean any plates left over from the previous night and put them together with his breakfast bowl into the dishwasher, a task he is unable to achieve every day.

Next in line is a girl again, although I wouldn’t call her a child as she is twenty-four and the reason I started this blog this morning. Upon my return from dropping our youngest at the station I came back into the house and noticed two pairs of shoes in the porch and a pair of shoes in the hall and a pair of shoes in the kitchen.

Now, I’m a man who likes system and organisation and have since I moved in here instigated a system where, should we wish to leave shoes downstairs there is now a rack at the back door in the boot room for exactly that.

Perhaps we are expecting too much from them, I know as a child I never failed in my duties because I was never given any, my mother did everything in the house and my father,brother and I sat around and watched her. It was though a time long ago in a dim and distant past before we realised it was a little unfair for your mother to have all the work to do.

I try to run a tight ship, one where we all pull together for the benefit of all of us and in some things I have achieved this, but not in all. Well it’s early days with regard to discipline in this house under the new regime, I keep threatening to ‘thrash them to within an inch of their lives’, just like the old days but I don’t think they think I’m serious.

What is the latest ruling from the EEC on beating your children, I seem to remember it used to be all right as long as you didn’t draw too much blood.

I was going to have a rant about the dreadful Margret Thatcher today but as usual I was way laid by another subject, still it will wait until next time.