The Orthodontist.

I was up at the crack of sparrows this morning as usual when I realised there was no great rush as I was taking our youngest to the orthodontist.

It’s strange how impersonal things have become and we all seem to take it for granted, like checking in at the doctor or orthodontist for example.

Gone are the days when you would stand at the counter to be greeted by a cheery ‘hello’ from the friendly receptionist, oh no, nowadays it’s a flat screen computer thingy where you punch in the relevant details, date of birth etc, all very impersonal.

Then you sit down and wait your turn, it’s almost as if you have skulked in, God forbid you should actually have to speak to another human being and then in an effort to avoid eye contact while you are waiting you can get your mobile phone out and engross yourself in playing with it.

I prefer the more human approach to life so embroiled our daughter in conversation much to her chagrin as she felt I was speaking too loudly and I’m still struggling to get her to appreciate my sense of humour.

During our conversation I noticed a thirty five year old man coming into the waiting room dressed in a schoolboys outfit and was most surprised when he punched in his birthday details to find he was younger than our daughter.

Lord knows what they’re feeding fourteen year old boys nowadays, I suppose some of it must be genetic and to be fair he was sporting the same moustache as his mother.

It wasn’t long before we went in to have her brace tightened and for her to choose yet another colour for the retaining bands, this time dayglow green and as she had only had the bottom done it was an interesting colour contrast with the bright blue she had on her top set.

In my day we never had braces, as I recollect the dentist (I don’t think orthodontists had been invented then) always used to say to everyone, ‘oh they will straighten by themselves, don’t worry’; they never did of course, still what’s wrong  ‘character teeth’.

I must say I prefer a bit of character, it must be the media that is making all the young try to look the same with perfect teeth, film star looks and ‘comb over’ haircuts…….’comb over’ haircuts, do they know where the original ‘sad git comb over’ came from!

What, I wonder are all the young people who are currently sporting ‘comb over’ haircuts going to do when they get older and start to go bald, there’s a conundrum.

I’ll leave that one with you, answers on a postcard.

Toodle pip.


About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work due to losing my agent when I became a full time carer to my mother who had dementia. and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother and shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse. I have written a number of different books all available on Amazon, so don't be shy should you feel the urge to purchase.
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