YOUNG PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO LIE ON THEIR CV.

A recent tweet by a young person proclaimed he had been somewhat taken by surprise when one of the questions on his recent job application form was, what did you do during lockdown to pursue any passion projects or personal development.

From the fact that he was taken by surprise by this question suggests that his time during lockdown was not spent all that constructively following his dream of a lifetime, which leaves him facing the fact that he may have tell a little porky pie in his attempt to attain gainful employment.

I went to Peru and discovered a lost tribe, or I walked the entire length of the foothills of the Himalayas and after that I was lucky enough to get a seat on the Elon Musk Starship SN15 and have been chosen for the first trip to Mars, or I rowed Greta Thunberg across the Atlantic on a sustainable bamboo raft.

Our inability to go anywhere during lockdown means none of these are going to wash, so something literally nearer to home will have to be invented, more along the lines of I learnt the Chinese language of Mandarin, or I wrote three spy novels which have proved so successful they are to be made into films when lockdown is over all from the safety of my bedroom.

Obviously those who have actually done something constructive during lock down will be first in the queue for jobs but sadly those whose idea of passion projects or personal development is, I slept most of the day, texted friends in the afternoon, then sent pictures of my genitalia to all the attractive girls at school and finally spent my time until the early hours of the morning gaming until I finally fell asleep may find them selves at the back of the queue, or lying on their CV.

A beginners guide to gaming

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
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4 Responses to YOUNG PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO LIE ON THEIR CV.

  1. Was the last paragraph from personal experience Joe?

    • I’m glad to say mine would be, I wrote a book and I hadn’t realised how useful lockdown and being able to do nothing and go nowhere was until I started to write the second book and have only got as far as chapter two as we have far more distractions and things that need doing at the moment but I will get there in the end.

    • Based on CVs I have had to trudge through in recent years a few more lies will make no difference. Nothing beats a chat over a coffee or a beer.. seperates the wheat from the chaff.

      • I’m sure you’re right, I’d love to see some of the modern CV’s, especially with the question about passion projects and personal development. Some are surely going to say, I climbed Mount Everest which will then require the interviewer to clarify that doing it on a PlayStation isn’t quite the same as the real thing.

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