I have just wasted the last 20 to 30 minutes of my life filling in a questionnaire from the City of London Transport Strategy Commonplace and having completed it I had to confirm my comments with a link they had sent me which when clicked said, I had only completed 1 of the 13 tiles and suggested I start again.

Now, it is possible that I have the wrong end of the stick and all my answers have been recorded but I have to wonder if that being the case, why was I invited to go round again this time with photographs?

Anyway, the long and the short of it appears to be more and more penalising the motorist until we finally admit defeat and never venture into London ever again, the only saving grace I could see from their survey was that their suggestion for a blanket 15mph speed limit had been rejected I believe by the Government. There was however a suggestion that they would encourage the use of electric scooters, as if they haven’t injured enough pedestrians already.

Another proposal was to ban freight transport from the City completely, although there was no suggestion as to how the City would exist without the necessary goods for the day to day running of the place unless Uber Eats were going to diversify into multiple deliveries of stationary and other items needed for the smooth running of a modern office together with the employees lunchtime snacks.

I did voice my opinion that most of the proposals seemed to involve yet more measures to impede the use of the motorcar or at the very least, leave it stuck in the single lane allotted for its use whilst the occasional bus or taxi passes and brushes the tumbleweed to the kerb. Reading between the lines I would warn motorist to be prepared for yet more costs with the potential of a new road pricing scheme coming into effect, this in a city where I’m led to believe the Mayor is driven about in a Range Rover.

I was surprised when getting to the end of the survey I was asked what my sexuality was, although Lord knows what that would have to do with traffic management as I would imagine whatever you identify as we all walk or cross the road in a fairly similar fashion, another surprise was the multiplicity of options from which to choose and having checked in my underpants and found a penis lurking there I plumped for the straightforward answer MALE.

Having got to the end of the survey and clicked on the link to confirm my comments I was faced with yet more of the same saying I had only completed 1 of the 13 tiles available, so I started again until halfway through it said I had reached my limit, leaving me to wonder if they can’t run a simple survey how on earth are they going to run the city in a sensible fashion.

So, finally in despair I filled in the last box available to me with the following;

I have just wasted the last 20 minutes filling in your questionnaire and when I got to the part where I had to confirm my comments, it said I have only replied to one of the thirteen tiles so it would appear your questionnaire is faulty or perhaps you didn’t like my answers. Either way I suggest you stick your survey where the sun doesn’t shine as I have better things to do than mess around with this bollocks.