The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

We went to Kelham Hall in April and due to circumstances beyond my control I am finally uploading some photos which were taken when we were there by the rather splendid Anna Marriage from Marriage Photography.

I have to say Angella came out particularly well, however as my agent used to say to me, ‘you have a very good character face’ which sounds good but actually means quirky and although not handsome it did earn me a fairly decent living for some many years, so I can’t complain.

Here are a selection of some of them.

Angella looking pensive

In this one I seem to be heavily back lit as if anointed by some heavenly glow, one has to wonder was I being called for some higher purpose?

I think this may be my version of looking lovingly into Angella’s eyes, either that or I’m laughing at one of my own jokes, which is entirely possible.

I’m not sure why Angella is clinging to my jacket in this photo, it’s not like I’m going anywhere.

This is a rather good one of our friends Jan and Steve and that pretty much sums up our visit to Kelham Hall, good fun meeting friends, shopping and a quick dance with Alan and Julie.

Same note to self as usual; must try to remember to take some photos of our own when we go out!

Some of you may have read my previous post about our rescue cockapoo Barnie who within the first week of his arrival had bitten every one of us, however we are not the sort of people who give up that easily and today we may have passed another milestone. I certainly hope so!

He was five years old when he arrived and we noticed straight away that he preferred women to men and he was quite nervous and was a resource guarder which meant he would guard the chair in the kitchen and would reluctantly share it with the women but woe betide any man foolish enough to sit with him.

However, today he came in as I was at my desk and I gave him a little fuss when he placed his front paws on my legs and the attempted to get on the chair with me, somewhat surprised I reached down and helped him up and there he sat as happy as Larry.

I quickly called Angella in to take a photo, just in case this was a fluke, but I’m hopeful it is another step in the right direction. Well done Barnie.

I was on Facebook earlier and someone had posted a map of the UK shipping forecast areas, my favourites of which are North Utsire and South Utsire which caused me to think, there are two things on the wireless that are quintessentially British and somehow strangely comforting that all is well with the world no matter how bad things may seem, one is the shipping forecast and the other is Desert Island discs, neither of which should ever change their theme tunes.

I met this sprightly 86 year old Chelsea Pensioner at the Melton Mowbray forties weekend recently where he was appearing in an effort to raise money for the Royal Hospital Chelsea by doing a wing walk at Sywell Aerodrome on 4th July.

Having spoken to him for some time he seemed most astute and in command of his faculties when he mentioned why he was there and his forthcoming wing walk, whereupon I declared that he must need his head examined and rather him than me!

I did promise I would put his details on my page but I was a little busy recently, however you still have plenty of time to donate so please go to his fundraising page and support him.

http://www.justgiving.com/page/roy-palmer-3

At the end of March we went to Liverpool in my rather splendid Bentley Arnage which was just mellowing into a beautiful modern day classic car, having spent £24,000 on her in the last four years, she was in perfect condition.

We went to a celebration Art Deco Ball at what was once the Art Deco terminal building for Liverpool airport, which was a most appropriate venue and a fine time was had by all.

Unfortunately, our weekend was somewhat marred when on our homeward journey, this fellow who was driving a Ford Transit van suddenly pulled from the middle lane and stopped right in front of us for no reason.

It seems Ford Transit vans are quite substantially built nowadays, unless he was carrying three or four tons of concrete in the rear! Sadly, my rather lovely Arnage didn’t come off too well from this altercation with the inevitable result that the insurance company wrote it off.

At first I thought we had been involved in a crash for cash accident, where they pull out and stop causing a crash and then some time later claim for considerable whiplash injuries, but no, his explanation was that he had turned off the cruise control and the vehicle just stopped which I have to say sounded most implausible.

Some of you may have wondered why I titled this post ‘two cities’ when there was only mention of one, well fast forward to the week after we had arrived home and my search for another car was looking promising which entailed a flight to the other city of Edinburgh and to cut a long story short I purchased a newer Bentley Arnage R, hence the ‘two Bentley’s’ in the title. I’m hoping for many miles of trouble free motoring in this one.

I took our rather lovely rescue dog Barnie out for a walk today as usual and was verbally accosted excitedly by a man on a bicycle, rather along the lines of a murder mystery case of mistaken identity.

As we were waiting to cross the road to the heath a man rode by on his bicycle and we crossed behind him and once on the heath the dog likes an initial sprint of excitement so off we went, whilst in the background I could hear someone calling for use to stop.

On turning round I was surprised to see the chap on his bicycle riding towards us at some speed and coming to an abrupt halt a few feet away which caused the dog to bark and the man to utter the words, ‘oh, don’t.’

It was then that I realised my dog walking regalia included a T shirt selected at random from the top of the pile which was given to me by our daughter for a Christmas present as a joke and one which I had altered with the aid of a felt tipped pen to display a message more suited to my more petrolhead leanings.

I have to say I felt a little sorry for the man on the bicycle as he obviously thought he was about to meet a kindred spirit, however I have learned my lesson and shall never wear the T shirt in public again, for God forbid numerous residents of Hatfield Heath should make the same error of mistaken identity or I would be drummed out of the Bentley Drivers Club.

Here are two examples of what the modern world can put its mind to, both brilliant in their own way.

The telephone and the humble modern screw top cap and yet there are still people out there who have no idea how to use the cap properly.

The following is part of a discussion from Facebook on the subject of self checkout tills in supermarkets, as you can see the first comment related to the difficulty of the self checkout machine to recognise the coupons and my suggestion in italics as to how to solve the problem.

Following my suggestion as to how to solve the problem, another participant interjected with the comment, ‘how do you know,’ which I can only assume related to my suggestion to use the till where they get things right. I may be getting the wrong end of the stick but I just had to ask, why would anyone question how I knew the manned till was a better option, one would have thought it was self explanatory.

Facebook conversation.

My issue is that the self check never gets the coupons right, and prices often don’t match the sale prices on the aisle. So I have to call an employee over anyway, which is a waste of my time and very frustrating.

You could always use the till where they get these things right!

How do you know.

At my advancing age I have had occasion to visit a supermarket on quite a number of times, generally with my wife and during these visits we take our coupons with us, the validity of which we have checked prior to our arrival at the checkout till where the assistant also checks them and enters them on our bill. The coupons are therefore checked twice before leaving the supermarket and should we wish to be particularly pedantic we can check our till receipt once again when we arrive home. This is just one of the advantages of using the manned checkout tills which some of us find most useful.