The Presidential Briefing.

I am getting sick to death of the British television news, especially Her Majesty’s British Broadcasting Corporation breaking their reports to listen to the rambling nonsense spouted by Mr Donald Trump.

Coronavirus: Donald Trump threatens to cut off WHO funding over ...

What is the point in having to listen to the wittering of this awful man who seems barely able to read let alone form a coherent sentence, except; As some of you may know, I write children’s stories and am always looking for new ideas to write about and having never written a Fairy Story I thought I might manage to obtain a transcript of Mr Trump’s daily briefing and use that as a plot for the book.

I shall call the book, Mr Trump and the Corona Fairies at the bottom of his garden.

 

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OH,TO BE IN ENGLAND.

I received an email from a friend of mine in the Bentley Drivers Club and as we are not able to use our cars at the moment, he described a walk taken in the countryside together with a portion of the wonderful Robert Browning poem Home Thoughts from Abroad, (with its often miss quoted first line!) which I think summed up the spirit needed to get us through the current situation, I hope you enjoy his letter.

Hi Joe

Hope you like this musings from a 87 year old window cleaner down to just one Bentley. Please feel free to send it on if it stirs you.

Roy

Since the lock down Margaret and I have been taking the opportunity to explore the wonderful surrounding Hertfordshire countryside by walking as far as two oldies can.

Today it was North Mymms Park with its untold acres of Greenfields surrounded by Woods not far removed and untouched since pre Norman times. Numerous coppices and complimented by the pleasure of being able to hear the seemingly inexhaustible rich clear sound of bird song without the noise and fumes of the A1M. Was this really Good Friday 2020?

With this thought, and while taking a moment to rest and trying to maintain this magical moment of tranquillity we noticed the 400-year-old plus North Mymms Tower of St Marys Church peeping through the tops of the trees. On further exploring we noticed the memorial erected in 1920 to all those brave souls who gave their all in the dreadful wars of WW1 and WW2 resisting tyranny and the very reason I am able to write this.

North Mymms History Project: Virtual tour of St Mary's Church ...

Memories of my boyhood of the dark days in Finsbury Park North London and the 40s blitz came hastening back of the time, when just as all seemed hopelessly lost, somewhere in this old brainbox Robert Browning’s epic poem that also sustained fellow countrymen and women in WW1 and WW2 came back.

***Oh, to be in England Now that April’s there, And whoever wakes in England Sees, some morning, unaware, That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf, While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough In England – now!! ***

This is the England I knew and remembered when we alone stood against Nazi tyranny and so proudly wore our Cubs and Scouts uniforms freely giving our allegiance to the King/Queen.

I have tried to savour and hold on to the moment and record it as very soon we will be back to normal (what is normal) and instants like this will be lost for ever.

Future generations will never know the pride of being English. The World should be on its knee’s thanking this tiny Island, Waterloo 1815, WW1, WW2, alone, we gave our all.

Please Think On This and Thanks for your time

Grumpy, but proud Old Roy

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SIR STIRLING MOSS.

I wanted to pay my own little tribute to the racing legend Sir Stirling Moss and to say thank you for the many happy hours we spent watching you race at the Goodwood Revival over the years.

Whilst never having watched Stirling race when he was competing professionally, (I was too young) he was accepted as the best driver never to have won the World Championship.

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, people standing

From 1955 to 1961 he was runner up four times and third on three other occasions and was famous for winning the 1955 Mille Miglia with Dennis Jenkinson reading the pace notes.

Ironic, perhaps that the crash that ended his career in April 1962 should have been at Goodwood, the very circuit where he gave so much pleasure to spectators after the end of his professional career.

The crash that put the brakes on the best driver in the world: Sir ...

Thank you for the pleasure you gave us. RIP Sir Stirling Moss.

 

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FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 10!

The FAKE NEWS of the day today concerns the petrol price war between Saudi Arabia and Russia and the glut of oil which they have flooded the market with causing petrol prices to plummet.

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I went out today for my daily exercise on my trusty bicycle and came across this on a local garage forecourt.

Three Star Petrol by woolybill1 | ePHOTOzine

I know many an owner of classic cars who are now champing at the bit longing to take advantage of these extremely low prices and take their beautiful cars for a spin, although I can’t imagine that they will remain at four shillings, and four pence ha’penny for long.

That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

 

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FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 9.

Today’s FAKE NEWS, China has ceased the lock down in Wuhan allowing some 11 million people back on the streets, stating there have been no new cases reported and all is well.

The official figures were.

Confirmed    81,802

Recovered    77,279

Died                 3,333

China to lift lockdown on Wuhan, ground zero of coronavirus ...

The official Chinese figures for the country state that there have been 81,802 confirmed cases of Coronavirus and 77,279 have recovered but sadly 3,333 have died. These figures seem remarkably small for a country with an estimated population of 1.44 billion people and what makes matters even worse is their rather shabby arithmetic, or lack of accurate figures.

If you add the figures for the dead and the recovered you get a figure of 80612 which is a shortfall of 1190 who it seems have been confirmed but have neither died nor recovered, who therefore still have the virus. This is like one of those school maths questions; If it takes three Chinese men to dig a grave how many does it take to dig 1190.

To present the figures as so many confirmed, recovered and dead and not mention those who one assumes still have it and are fighting for their lives seems a little like creative accounting, the figures don’t seem to add up correctly or to put it another way; “to lose one is unfortunate but to lose 1190 seems like carelessness.”

I hope that when they release the 11 million people of Wuhan province these 1190 people don’t come out with them, especially as they seem to have resumed air flights too.

That is pretty much the end of the FAKE NEWS of today and I hand you back to the studio with the old saying ringing in my ears; “I WOULDN’T TRUST THEM AS FAR AS I COULD THROW THEM!

 

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FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 8.

I was just thinking about a possible FAKE NEWS conspiracy theory concerning Coronavirus and the forthcoming Pink Moon scheduled for 8th April.

Pink Moon 2019 meaning: Why is April Full Moon called Pink Moon ...

Could it be that Coronavirus was brought to the Earth by aliens and they intend to invade on the forthcoming date in April?

STOP IT, STOP IT, I’M GETTING A LITTLE BIT TOO STIR CRAZY HERE. IF I CARRY ON LIKE THIS MUCH LONGER THEY WILL BE ASKING ME TO PUT A SHIRT ON BACK TO FRONT AND CARTING ME AWAY!! CALM DOWN MAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, IT’S JUST FAKE NEWS.

This is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

 

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Short back and sides Sir?

I took the opportunity to get my hair cut when I was at Frisking the Whiskers recently and I must say I was very pleased with the results, although it felt a little strange to be paying good money for the sort of haircut I would have paid good not to have when I was younger.

Forgive the awful photo which really does not do justice to the haircut which has grown somewhat since it was originally done and now has the benefit of a parting being added.

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As you can see from my rather scruffy appearance I don’t dress in forties clothes all the time as some people do but I am beginning to see how it can quite easily take over your life.

My problem now is how to maintain my new short back and sides which is unfortunately already showing signs of requiring a trim and obviously all the barbers are shut.

We used to have three poodles which have unfortunately left us over the years but my wife still has the clippers she used to use occasionally to give the dogs a trim so if this Corona lark goes on much longer I can see myself having to have a short back and poodle cut.

God forbid it should go on so long that I revert to the shoulder length hair I used to sport in the 70’s, that’s definitely not a look for a man of my age!

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