The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

VERY SAD, THERE IS NOTHING FURTHER TO ADD.

Now I’m no expert on these matters but, there has to be some sort of correlation between going in the water and being eaten by a shark.

I was commenting on a post which suggested we should listen to our grandparents while they are still with us, as it’s too late to ask when they are gone and I suggested we should listen to our parents too and made the following comment although I had to edit it as the word my father used to describe Cairo was shithole, which sadly didn’t meet with the standards required by the page. I’m believe my father contracted jaundice while there and the way he talked about Cairo, I’m fairly certain his word was an accurate description of the place during World War Two and I feel it rather sad to have to change what was his history to fit modern day sensibilities.

Luckily, the edited version (see below) passed scrutiny but lacked his more accurate and historical recollection of the place.

Very true and your parent’s story, although my father would never speak about the war, except to say that Cairo was a hole with excrement in it, (not quite the words my fathers used but his word fell foul of the language police). I expect it’s somewhat better nowadays.

I had occasion to write a brief comment on a Facebook post comparing the Titanic to modern cruise ships and was somewhat surprised as to the response I received which seemed to lack any thought or research, so I thought I would post it here to see what comments I might receive, as I was wondering, ‘is it me!’

JOE WELLS

Class and style have nothing to do with size, quality not quantity!

JOSHUA GOSS

Quality is not sinking as well

JOE WELLS

Not sinking would also apply to these modern-day disasters.

Costa Concordia 2012

MS Estonia 2012

The Eastern Star 2015

The Carnival Triumph 2013

The Celebrity Mercury 2010

The Viking Sky 2019

The Anthem of the Seas 2016

The Queen of the North 2006

So, I suppose if I had to die on a sinking cruise ship, I think I would still prefer the Titanic rather than these gigantic Disneyland on sea style of ships. Better to slip quietly under the waves to the sound of the band playing, “nearer my God am I to thee” than the awful racket you hear at modern amusement parks but that’s just my personal preference.

JOSHUA GOSS

How long did it take each one of those to sink? I guarantee that each one of them went multiple years prior to failing. I’m a logical thinker, so comparing apples to spoiled oranges is quite drastic. You could argue that it was the first of its kind, but there were actually larger cruise ships tested prior to the Titanic that lasted longer as well so…

JOE WELLS

In answer to your comment, regarding how long before the modern ships were in service before they sunk compared to the older ships, the most modern Costa Concordia was launched in 2005 and went into service in 2006 but sadly sunk after only 6 short years in service in 2012. As for your logic of comparing apples to spoiled oranges, I tend to view them as both the same after all they were all the biggest ships of their time which tends to make them all apples. I certainly wouldn’t argue, as you suggest, that Titanic was the first of its kind as the sister ship to Titanic, named Olympic was in fact launched in 1911 a full year before Titanic and was a bigger ship. I’m not sure the longevity of the ship was the point of the comparison as the original post said, “Titanic VS Modern cruise ship,” merely a comparison between the two ships. There were three ships of similar design, the third being the Britannic which was in service from 1915 as a medical ship during World War One but was sadly sunk when hitting a German mine in the Aegean Sea a year later in 1916, having never seen service as a passenger liner. Now for a comparison as to how long it took before some of the earlier ships were sunk and we come to the Olympic which was launched in 1911 and was the largest ship in the world for over 20 years until the Queen Mary was built in 1936. She also had the distinction of being in service for 24 years before being retired in 1935, some considerable improvement on the short-lived Costa Concordia. A similar long life may well have been the fate of the Titanic had the captain not ploughed ahead during fog when they knew they were entering an ice field full of icebergs, apparently in an attempt to gain the Blue Ribbon for the fastest crossing of the Atlantic on her maiden voyage. Such a shame, but that’s history for you.

BEFORE WE START THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL POST WHICH WAS SHOWN WITH A DIFFERENT PICTURE AND A DIFFERENT PUNCH LINE.

A new study has found that microscopic particles emitted from brake pads can be more toxic than those from diesel exhaust and even the move to electric vehicles will not stop this pollution as they too have brakes.

Apparently, this is due to the higher concentration of copper in some commonly used pads and I was wondering if we might perhaps return to the previous brake pads which used asbestos, although this too would have harmful effects on people’s lungs when breathed in.

In an effort to appease the woke green lobby, I have taken the brake pads out of my car, at least this way when I slam through the fence into my neighbours swimming pool, I will have done my bit to help protect others from the harmful brake dust and although my futile gesture will certainly end in tears for myself, I feel the sacrifice will have been worth it.

For those of you reading this who think this joke doesn’t quite work, I have to admit I edited it, as my text originally described the car slamming into the back of a lorry, together with a photograph of a badly damaged car under the back of a lorry. I had prefaced the post with a trigger warning, with the caveat THIS IS A JOKE. However, when I posted it on another site, a couple of people who I have to assume hadn’t read the text complained about the picture and I was asked to remove the post which I did. I think the new version rather spoils the joke but this is the world we live in today.

One is often surprised as to the insular nature of some of the population of America who seem to know very little of world events and history and came across yet another example of this when I came upon this question on Quora from what I assume to be an American.

Why are British people trying gaslight me into thinking the United Kingdom invented English when they obviously didn’t? They speak British, Americans speak English.

I was unsure if this was an American’s idea of a joke but felt I should respond just in case this was a genuine quest for knowledge and did so as follows; I have to beg to differ with your statement, for the British speak English that’s why it’s called the English language, whilst there are ever more regional and cultural accents and ways of speaking the language it is still called English, especially by those people in the United Kingdom who are English.

From a modicum of research, I have ascertained that the British first arrived in North America in 1585, when Sir Walter Raleigh established the Roanoke Colony on Roanoke Island, unfortunately the settlement was short-lived and the colonists disappeared mysteriously, although I imagine it wouldn’t be rocket science to work out how they vanished.

In 1606 King James I of England granted a charter to the Virginia Company of London to colonize the American coast anywhere between parallels 34° and 41° north and another charter to the Plymouth Company to settle between 38° and 45° north and in 1607 the Virginia Company crossed the ocean and established Jamestown.

Some years later the Pilgrim Fathers who were a group of English Puritans sailed to North America on the Mayflower in 1620 and established Plymouth Colony, which is now in Massachusetts.

Now, when all these British people landed in America and established colonies, they would have all arrived speaking English and they went on to produce offspring who also spoke English, for they certainly didn’t take up the language of the native American Indians or the predominant language in America today would be Navajo or Cherokee.

Therefore, by a process of deduction we have arrived at the conclusion that the language predominantly spoken in America by 78% of the population is English, albeit with an American accent. The same language as that spoken in the United Kingdom and generally referred to as American English. As for your assumption as to who invented the English language, I think you’ll find the clue is in the name given to it and by historical fact.