Conversant

Conversant

Today’s choice of word from The Daily prompt is “conversant” which is defined as to be familiar with or knowledgeable about something, which is very useful to me as I should have no trouble with this topic as I am conversant with any number of subjects, although not necessarily the ones you may wish to know about.

I think it safe to say, my head is rammed with useless information and trivia which I can regale at the drop of a hat, most of the time. However rather like taking part in a pub quiz all of it seems to have escaped me, just at the moment when I most need it.

One’s just popped back into my head, the last words of Donald Campbell as his jet power boat Bluebird flipped and somersaulted, breaking up as it came down and hit the water as he was attempting in 1967 to break the 300 mph record on water were; “I can’t see anything, I’ve got the bows out, I’m going!” Bluebird disintegrated but his teddy bear mascot called “Mr Wopptit” floated and was retrieved but his body and the boat were not recovered until 2001.

The Titanic had two sister ships called Britannic and Olympic, the largest of which by gross tonnage was the Britannic and the two cranes in the Harland and Wolff ship yard in Belfast were called Samson and Goliath I imagine due to their enormous size, yet more of the useless facts I am conversant with.

My boast earlier of having a head full of trivia is rather failing me just at the moment as usually I can spout off nonsense sufficient to put the strongest of men to sleep and yet today I’m struggling.

Maybe not, for I have just had a flash of inspiration, either that or I’m having a stroke; it always takes six turns of the wire on a champagne bottle before the wire opens and you can open the bottle, always twisting the bottle whilst holding the cork.

You may or may not be conversant with the alleged story of how the cats eyes in the road were invented. Apparently a chap was walking home from the pub somewhat worse for drink when a cat came walking towards him in the road, it’s eyes shinning in the moon light. What a brilliant idea thought the fellow and went off to invent the cats eyes, of course had the cat been going in the other direction he would have invented the pencil sharpener.

It’s getting late in the day now and I’m having trouble dragging any more trivia from the recesses of my mind, having said that of course, the minute I press the button to publish this my mind will be flooded with rubbish on a scale resembling a tsunami, the meaning of which in Japanese is harbour wave. See, it’s started and I haven’t even pressed publish yet, just a quick one, karaoke in Japanese means empty orchestra.

That’s enough for one night, I’m off to be conversant with a few cans of lager, some awful television and finally my bed, so until next time, I wish you goodnight.

About The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

I am a retired actor, although to be honest I only retired because I wasn't getting any work and the option of becoming an unemployed actor/waiter at my age was ludicrous, especially as my waiting skills are non-existent. Having said I’m retired, I don’t think there really is such a thing as a retired actor for I am still available for work, I just don’t have an agent or any connections with regards to obtaining any worthwhile work. I have over the years done student films when there is nothing else available, always low paid (if at all) the only incentive was always the promised copy of the finished film for your show reel which nine times out of ten always failed to materialise. I spent many years looking after my aged mother who had dementia, hence the lack of acting work but shortly after her death I was lucky enough to run into an ex-girlfriend of many years ago and our romance blossomed once again, resulting in us getting married in 2013. My move to the countryside inspired me to write The Diary of a Country Bumpkin which tells of my continuing dilemmas in dealing with the rigors of the countryside from the unexpectedly large number of pollens, fungal moulds and hay products waiting to attack the unsuspecting townie. I enjoy writing, see my play Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori on The Wireless Theatre Company, The Plays Wot I Wrote and The Battle of Barking Creek both available on Amazon.co.uk and am very fond of classic cars so my ideal occupation would be acting in a film I had written set in the 1930s/40s, we live in hopes. I am delighted to say that since venturing to the countryside where space is not quite the premium it is in town, I have due to the availability of two double garages acquired more classic cars to form a small collection the pride of which are a 1947 Bentley Mk VI and a 2000 Bentley Arnage. My various blogs and websites are continually evolving and I’m sure that by following the appropriate links you will find something which will edify or amuse.
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3 Responses to Conversant

  1. I had a great uncle (may have been great – great) who was Chief Butcher on both the Olympic and Titanic.

  2. calmkate says:

    lol great creative writing!

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