The Diary of a Country Bumpkin

Highways England have a new campaign with information should you find yourself in the situation where you are breaking down on the motorway with the following advice for motorists.

If you break down on the motorway:

1. Put your LEFT indicators on.
2. Move into the LEFT lane.
3. Exit LEFT at the next junction/services, or.
4. Exit LEFT into an emergency area or hard shoulder.
5. Put your hazard lights on.
6. Get behind a safety barrier where there is one; keep well away from moving traffic.

What a sad reflection on the current standard of driving we have in this country that Highways England feel they need to impart this information to the drivers of today who presumably when breaking down must think, “I’ll just stop here in the outside lane where most vehicles are proceeding at at least 70 mph, what can possibly go wrong with that?”

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO COMMON SENSE?

I HAVE JUST COME BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL WHERE I ATTEMPTED TO HAVE MY YEARLY BLOOD TEST AND AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE FACT THAT I AM COMPUTER SHOUTING, I AM EXCEEDINGLY ANGRY.

Luckily I am very healthy and one of the things I don’t have is high blood pressure but modern life is going out of its way to see that I do have it; and breath…………………

Thinking calming thoughts I think I am in a position to continue, now where was I?

Everyone nowadays seems to have to have a yearly check up with the Doctor, although as I have mentioned before in a previous post I would have thought the appointment would be better taken up by someone who is ill, however I digress.

The consultation with the Doctor was done on the telephone due to Coronavirus and when it was finished he requested that I come to the surgery and pick up the form for my blood test at the local hospital which I did the next day.

Once again due to Coronavirus one was not allowed into the surgery and I was given my form at the door by what I assume was a receptionist and following the usual procedure I had nothing to eat or drink 12 hours before the test the next day.

When I arrived at the Hospital I found like the person in front of me who had just been sent by her Doctor that they were no longer doing walk in blood tests whereby you take a ticket and when your number is called in you pop, they take the sample and you bugger off home, simples!

Having gone to the bother of fasting from last night I was BLOODY LIVID AND COULD FEEL MY BLOOD PRESSURE RISING ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS HANDED A PIECE OF PAPER WITH THE DETAILS OF WHERE I COULD BOOK AN APPOINTMENT ON LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At no time did the Doctor or the receptionist mention I had to make an appointment so I assumed they would have some sort of socially distanced queuing system, I would have appreciated being told before and what made matters worse was the nurse informed me the booking system had been in force for a year now and I feel certain that if the Doctor were to check my notes he would see no mention of a psychic ability.

ALL I CAN SAY IS IF THE DOCTOR IS UNABLE TO REMEMBER TO MENTION YOU HAVE TO BOOK AN OPPOINTMENT WHEN HE SENDS YOU FOR A BLOOD TEST HOW CAN I HAVE ANY FAITH IN HIS ABILITY TO REMEMBER TO LOOK AT THEM WHEN THEY COME BACK.

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THEY KEEP GOING ON ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH, I HAD THOUGHT IT WAS JUST THE SNOWFLAKES BEING PRECIOUS BUT AT THIS RATE IF LIFE CONTINUES TO BE THIS RIDICULOUS, IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I TOO AM AS MAD AS A HATTER!!!!!

Meghan Markle has been accused of being confused when she said she had actually been married some days before the official ceremony took place.

Now call me old fashioned but if I’m not mistaken there would have been a rehearsal before an event of the magnitude of the wedding of Harry and Meghan as it would look dreadful had there been a faux pas on the actual day.

It seems therefore logical to assume that Meghan had thought the rehearsal was in fact the real thing which seems a tad odd as she must have come across the concept of a rehearsal during her time as an actress, although as she did no research into the Royal Family before taking the plunge with Harry perhaps she didn’t bother with rehearsals when she was an actress, these Americans can be a little slapdash so it seems.

I think this will be quite a short post today as there is not much one can say on this subject after one has stated the bleeding obvious; this was not a protest this was anarchy.

When I was young there were CND Ban the Bomb protest marches where an orderly bunch of well meaning middle class liberals, some Church leaders and a smattering of University students dressed in duffle coats with scarves would walk slowly along a predetermined route holding placards, stop at Trafalgar Square and listen to a couple of speeches and then go quietly home.

Gone are the days of the gentlemanly protest march, now we have protesters shouting “kill the bill” which may refer to the recent Parliamentary bill to give the Police more powers to deal with the sort of rioting which happened in Bristol or may literally refer to a desire to kill the Police, I have a nasty feeling in the case of many of the protesters it is the latter.

As I said this post will be quite short, so to sum up; we have a violent riot taking place where the Police have been attacked and injured, their vehicles have been set on fire and Police Stations have come under attack and Parliament is about to debate a new bill to help curb this sort of anarchistic behaviour.

I could be wrong but I can’t see this being a very long debate, well it wouldn’t be if I were in the Chair.

I recently came across some rather startling information which I think puts the recent Harry and Meghan debacle into perspective as a comparatively minor event not worthy of all the current press coverage compared to the following rather tragic story.

Whilst all the fuss and bother of Harry and his wife Meghan’s false claims have been taking the news headlines I came across a story of far more importance which has hardly been mentioned in the media at all.

The story I refer to is that of the 600 children in the UK who were arrested last year during the coronavirus pandemic for firearms offences, some as young as twelve years of age.

Figures which revealed two 12 year old boys were arrested for suspected firearms offences in the West Midlands, two 12 year old boys and a 13 year old boy were arrested in Hertfordshire for possession of firearms offences, a 14 year old girl was arrested for a suspected firearms offence in Merseyside all of which took place in 2020.

Further offences were committed in 2018/19, an 11 year old boy was arrested in Derbyshire on suspicion of possessing an imitation firearm with intent to cause fear of violence and another 11 year old was charged with the same offence with an air weapon.

Amazingly enough more than two dozen suspected firearms were seized in a single week in London this February and Victim Support said it had seen an 85% increase in deaths from shootings in the last year.

Quite extraordinary that a child would carry a gun of any sort, be it imitation or real and leave themselves open to being shot by armed response Police teams who have no idea if the gun is real or fake.

I know I was born in simpler times but when I was an eleven year old the contents of my pocket were more likely to be a Wagon Wheel biscuit, a toy car and the most dangerous item might have be a conker on a string, my how times have changed.

Sarah Everard was allegedly abducted whilst walking home from a friends home in Clapham, sadly her body was discovered in Kent last Wednesday and a serving Policeman has been arrested for her murder.

An official organised vigil had been cancelled because of Covid-19 regulations which would have made the event an illegal gathering and the parents of Sarah Everard had also requested the event did not take place.

However, an unofficial vigil took place last night at Clapham Common and was attended by quite a few hundred people, the majority of which seemed to be female, they gathered around the bandstand and placed flowers and lit candles, although why on earth they couldn’t wait another few weeks when it will not be illegal for so many to meet I have no idea.

Unfortunately, for those attending the Police arrived and what seems like a minor scuffle took place which resulted in four women being arrested, one of whom was Patsy Stevenson who said of the events, “I was terrified, I have never been so scared honestly.”

She was asked why she was restrained and arrested and said, “to be honest I still don’t know why I was pushed to the ground so forcefully” and continued that she was released twenty minutes after her arrest and given a £200 fine.

This event has caused quite a stir, with the Liberal Democrat Leader Sir Ed Davey asking for the resignation of the Metropolitan Police Chief, Cressida Dick, 8000 people have also signed a petition to the same effect and the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan has asked for a full enquiry by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary.

All this seems somewhat over the top to say the least and a complete waste of time and money, to have an inquiry into an illegal event where hundreds of people took part and yet only four arrests were made, the politically correct world in which we now find ourselves is becoming more and more ridiculous with every passing day.

Just in case you missed my point although I would have thought it glaringly obvious;

ILLEGAL EVENT. HUNDREDS TOOK PART. ONLY FOUR ARRESTS.

To us British we understand protocol, it’s innate in us, we understand how the firm works, we don’t have to be a member to know that. Obvious things, like who walks out of Church with the Queen and the order in which they walk behind her.

I can only assume that things must have got lost in the translation, take for example; if you leave the firm, you are not entitled to Royal protection and it certainly wasn’t withdrawn because of Archie’s skin colour.

Meghan must have seen corporate executives being sacked in a recession, where they walk out the front door with their things in a cardboard box, they stop being paid and the company car is taken back, it’s the same principal with Royal protection.

The assumption that the Royal family stopped Archie having the title Prince is also wrong, he is not entitled to the title until his grandfather Charles is on the throne and Archie moves up the pecking order, the firm did not stop Archie having the Title of Prince, he wasn’t entitled to it.

Now, the political hot potato, that a senior Royal was concerned about the skin colour of Archie. I may be wrong but I see that as a concerned father talking to his son to make him aware of the possible backlash from social media should Archie have turned out to be very dark.

It is very unlikely that we will ever know the true story as the Royal family have a policy of, “never complain, never explain.” I find the saddest thing to come out of the Oprah interview was the fact that Meghan had done no research about the Royal family prior to plunging into marriage with Harry, surely any decent actress would do some research on the character she is about to play.

It seems she did a very bad audition and then went on to play the part very badly for a very short run, someone should have warned her, it’s not a glamorous lifestyle opening a chip shop in Scunthorpe on a cold November afternoon, perhaps they could have sent her off to do Pantomime where you have to play eight shows a week, including the two matinee’s to give her some idea of what she was up against.

All very sad, but they’ve made their bed and now they have to lay in it.

Life has taught me to be sceptical about so many things especially nowadays with the advent of Facebook and all the other social media sites which are full of untruths and in some cases complete and utter bollocks if you’ll pardon my French!

This was exactly how I was feeling having watched last nights Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan, with both Meghan and Oprah overacting dreadfully, leaving me thinking what I was hearing just didn’t seem to ring true, perhaps it will make sense when we hear the other side of the story.

However, following last nights interview with Harry and Meghan The Royal Family have chosen as yet not to comment and I feel I should do likewise and follow Royal Protocol and refrain from comment myself, a lesson to be learned here I think; “Never complain, never explain.”

A female reporter Sonja McLaughlan was left crying in her car after receiving abusive social media messages following her post match interview with the England Captain Owen Farrell following England’s defeat by Wales in the Six Nations.

I know very little of the Rugby world but I’m led to believe that the England Captain can be a little terse when it comes to his answers after the match when he is interviewed which required the poor interviewer to be a little more probing than she might otherwise have been which caused a torrent of abuse to befall her through the medium of Twitter.

Wales won the match in Cardiff with a score of 40-24 although the match was riddled with controversy with many questionable refereeing decisions but apparently Wales won the Triple Crown in something called the Six Nations and well done to them.

Miss Mc Naughlan later tweeted; “Toxic, embarrassing, disgraceful, appalling, just some of the feedback I’ve had, thanks for using the @ sign so it’s all hit home. Now imagine getting inundated with abuse for doing your job. In my car crying. Hope you’re happy.”

Now I have never been trollied online, I’m glad to say and I hope it never happens, however I have learnt from this news item that using the @ sign makes it all the more personal, although I haven’t the faintest idea why.

All I can say in conclusion is, this is not the way to behave chaps, especially when using the @ sign, so desist immediately, this sort of behaviour is just not cricket.

Apparently a Japanese billionaire is looking for eight people to join him on a trip round the moon, Mr Yusaku Maezawa who is an online fashion tycoon wants to fill the spaces he has purchased on the spaceship which is being developed by Space X.

Should the trip be successful they will be the first people to have completed the voyage since the Apollo mission in 1972 and Space X founder Elon Musk said he was highly confident that the Starship would be safe enough for human transport by 2023.

Not wishing to put a dampener on the proceedings but I feel obliged to mention that the Starship has crash landed in a massive fireball on two occasions on its return to Earth, so whilst they seem to have the going up part reasonably well controlled the coming down part seems to have a few flaws.

The timeline for applications for people to pre-register is by 14th March with an initial screening scheduled for 21st March and should they find eight people who are as mad as a bunch of frogs it will be all systems go and I wish them all the best of British luck!